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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

29Fucked!

laden_swallow09laden_swallow09
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 June 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11571
  • Number of comments : 2750
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it, but that's likely why you're here, innit?

"It's now very common for them to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that,' as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning. It has no purpose. It has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what?" – Stephen Fry, actor/comedian

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…
HEIL, SPELLCHECK!

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>BlaqMontana</b> - yesterday at 12:18pm<b>saffy66</b> - yesterday at 11:10am<b>JayGatsby</b> - yesterday at 11:25pm<b>astral12345</b> - yesterday at 8:10pm<b>NoName011</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 3:40pm<b>FuckFace10</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:46am<b>julia2750</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:29pm<b>Mr_Satan</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 4:28am<b>dont_doubt_me</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 2:36pm<b>Di11y</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 9:18am<b>stephanyovalle</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 4:01am<b>DarthTaco351</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:33pm<b>Roxy41013</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 1:14pm<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 9:07pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 5:08am<b>addixkay</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 12:53am<b>lazrguideddonut</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 12:14am<b>VolitairianArrow</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:16pm

Fucked!<b>saffy66</b> - 24 hours ago<b>JayGatsby</b> - yesterday at 5:25am<b>milkie</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:16pm<b>AddictGamer</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 6:25am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 7:46pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 2:13pm<b>Johnnycake23</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:29am<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:50pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:45am<b>Kazze</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:53am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:18am<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:44pm<b>Ingalls9</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 10:04pm<b>csjc</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 5:47am<b>demonddm</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 2:39pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:03pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 6:20am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:01pm

laden_swallow09's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of laden_swallow09's badges

laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, after handing over the cash to buy my sister's car off her, she refused to sign any of the paperwork, and later put an ad on Craigslist selling the same car. I got scammed by my own sister. FML

Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML

#21421289
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26506) - you deserved it (2150)

On 06/05/2015 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

#21420563
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30171) - you deserved it (3299)

On 06/04/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got woken up and kicked out of bed. Apparently if I cheat in her dreams it still counts. FML

#21419795
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29978) - you deserved it (2626)

On 06/02/2015 at 5:02pm - love - by Jrex89 (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, one of my tires blew out on the highway. I managed to slow down and pull over without dying, and went to get my spare tire. I found it right where it was supposed to be, knifed to hell and with a taunting note from my psycho ex taped to it. We broke up nearly 3 years ago. FML

#21419681
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28031) - you deserved it (2758)

On 06/02/2015 at 12:50pm - misc - by Milo (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, a customer yelled at me because the cherry pie he bought had cherries in it, and he wanted a refund. FML

#21419579
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26509) - you deserved it (1570)

On 06/02/2015 at 4:59am - work - by IrNatalie - United States (Arizona)

Today, a customer complained that his earphones stopped properly functioning even though he bought them less than a month ago. After checking them, I realised that there was so much earwax caked into them that it affected the sound quality. FML

Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML

#21418223
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39100) - you deserved it (2288)

On 05/30/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by TooLoud - United States (California)

Today, one of my students tried to bribe me $200 to change his grade. When I said no and told him he was lucky I didn't report him, he went to the dean and told him I offered to change his grade for money. I'm now suspended and under investigation. FML

#21416617
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35945) - you deserved it (3091)

On 05/27/2015 at 12:25pm - work - by UN4 (man) - United States

Today, it's been exactly 2 years since I graduated college. I make less money in my full-time job now than I did working part-time in college. FML

#21416055
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30813) - you deserved it (2693)

On 05/26/2015 at 12:50pm - money - by Real Life Sucks - United States

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

#21415171
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26183) - you deserved it (10561)

On 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML

#21415031
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27664) - you deserved it (4026)

On 05/24/2015 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by ugh - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML

#21414899
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32819) - you deserved it (2060)

On 05/24/2015 at 11:15am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

#21414033
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27721) - you deserved it (4553)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I surprised my 7 and 1.5 year old girls with a princess dinner. I quickly realized it was a scam when the "princesses" arrived looking more suited to a bachelor party. I was able to quickly get the girls out, but have spent the evening explaining why Pocahontas was heavily tattooed. FML



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