About laden_swallow09 : It is a shame that correcting stupidity is called assault in the court system.
Oh, before I forget, I'm on the iPhone app only, so I'm sorry that I can't read your hate mail! :(
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Today, my 20-year-old came whining to me, asking why his job interviews keep going so poorly. I had to delicately explain that the "PIMP SLAP" tattoo he had put on his right hand recently may have something to do with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23241) - you deserved it (2722)
On 03/06/2013 at 1:04pm - kids - by ProudMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)
Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15821) - you deserved it (31107)
On 03/04/2013 at 12:01am - love - by DEATHBYEX1LE - Australia
Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27379) - you deserved it (5893)
On 03/01/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by tax-man - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50001) - you deserved it (4405)
On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17726) - you deserved it (29596)
On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21817) - you deserved it (3229) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by hé merde - Sent from mobile version
Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33509) - you deserved it (7833)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I got my results on a recent, important midterm. During the exam, I'd noticed my instructor had accidentally left an answers page in the test packet, so being honest, I didn't look at them. It turns out she did it on purpose to help us pass. I failed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27613) - you deserved it (9720)
On 02/20/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by its ok to cheat!? - United States (California)
Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27507) - you deserved it (3131)
On 02/15/2013 at 12:53am - health - by youmindyourownbusiness - United States (Illinois)
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29856) - you deserved it (5823)
On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)
Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43439) - you deserved it (2640)
On 02/11/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by excusemeprincess (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, really desperate to get a job, I filled out an application for a dishwashing job. My application got tossed out, because I'm not an economics major like the other guy applying for the same job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20626) - you deserved it (1420)
On 02/10/2013 at 12:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26237) - you deserved it (3983)
On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16444) - you deserved it (24066)
On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia
Today, I told my parents that what I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, and have been wanting for months. They laughed and said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone and perhaps you'll become normal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27418) - you deserved it (7963)
On 02/01/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by HistoryFreak (woman) - France
Monday 20 May 2013
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