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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 June 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13490
  • Number of comments : 3038
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it, but that's likely why you're here on my profile, innit?

"It's now very common for them to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that,' as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning. It has no purpose. It has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what?" – Stephen Fry, actor/comedian

If you're thinking about getting an iPhone 6/+, don't. They're way too big.

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>TheDragonsGuard</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 4:59pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 7:01pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 8:18pm<b>Scrambled</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 8:34am<b>arsh_fz</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 7:09pm<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 2:58pm<b>Mons</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 1:33pm<b>doge_ram</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:50pm<b>swishy25</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:35pm<b>Eivana</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 10:32pm<b>Mr_Guy_Dude</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 4:41pm<b>unpossible</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 3:27pm<b>constipation</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 3:13pm<b>ChimeraThorne</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 4:12pm<b>Broseidon93</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 4:07pm<b>chaylea</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 9:34pm<b>Supaviper</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 5:27pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 1:15am

Fucked!<b>Scrambled</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 2:35pm<b>junjunbun</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 6:43pm<b>FlashlightBob</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 1:14am<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 4:44am<b>devi_916</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:03pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 5:51am<b>openminded8</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 7:57pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 7:12pm<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:17am<b>AnAngryyGiraffe</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:14pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:10am<b>ThatGuy878</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 10:42pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:10pm<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:25am<b>milkie</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:16pm<b>AddictGamer</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 6:25am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 7:46pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 2:13pm

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I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whiskey, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34637) - you deserved it (2401)

On 09/17/2015 at 3:48pm - kids - by Angus (man) - France

Today, I found out that after three years of telling my boss our strategy wasn't going to work, that I was right - it didn't work. I also found out that because it didn't work, I lost my job. My boss still has his. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22927) - you deserved it (1451)

On 09/17/2015 at 3:14am - work - by Unemployed (man) -

Today, I tried the 'Casual Encounter' page on Craigslist. Three hours, a bunch of spam, and a 30-minute call to some company, speaking to some lady I could barely understand to recover the $40 somehow charged to my card. I think I might want to try other ways to meet people. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16853) - you deserved it (8917)

On 09/16/2015 at 10:51pm - love - by StickyPickles (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm on vacation in Japan with my brother. When he said he could speak Japanese, I guess what he really meant that he's a dumbass weeaboo who only knows the words "kawaii", "baka", "sugoi" and a few others. He ended up offending two locals so much that they beat the shit out of us. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25810) - you deserved it (3054)

On 09/16/2015 at 1:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Japan

Today, I was signing with my deaf brother at a local McDonald's. We were having a laugh about a game we played last night when this morbidly obese woman waddled over to us. She was utterly convinced we were "talking shit" about her and made a scene about our "hand gestures." Seriously? FML


I agree, your life sucks (27487) - you deserved it (1365)

On 09/15/2015 at 6:31pm - misc - by Stairs? Noooooo - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally came across a video of my parents on an amateur porn site. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32496) - you deserved it (4787)

On 09/14/2015 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Motherf*cker - United States

Today, I received a call from my wife. It would've been great if she hadn't left on a business trip 3 years ago. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26777) - you deserved it (1456)

On 09/13/2015 at 10:22am - love - by TheLoneSoul - France

Today, a guy came into my gas station, showed me the gun on his hip, and asked me to kindly empty the register. My asshole boss claimed that because we live in an open carry state, and because the guy didn't point the gun at me, that there was no actual robbery and I just gave him free money. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30946) - you deserved it (2574)

On 09/13/2015 at 10:07am - work - by jobless (man) - United States

Today, someone photoshopped my head onto some nude girl's body and spread it around at school. It was shockingly convincing. Now everyone's calling me a slut, and the worst part is I have no idea which photo the person used or where they got it from, so I can't prove it's a fake. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26379) - you deserved it (1562)

On 09/11/2015 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally finished restoring a car after working on it for 6 months, so I took it out for a drive. On the way back, I stopped at a red light, but the drunk driver behind me didn't. FML

Today, I caught two kids passing notes to each other in my class, so I told them to see me afterwards. When one of the kids eventually came up, I noticed he was crying. He looked up at me and sobbed out, "I was trying to make my first friend!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (25774) - you deserved it (6896)

On 09/08/2015 at 8:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I got a date after being alone for the past 2 years. The girl who my friends set me up with began asking my monthly income, my current occupation, and asked if I have a credit card account. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25336) - you deserved it (1862)

On 09/08/2015 at 8:35am - love - by anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while working at a wedding reception, I caught a couple getting touchy in the back of the room, but I swept it under the rug. Apparently, they didn't like getting caught, and reported me to my boss, claiming sexual harassment. I now have to attend social sensitivity training once a week. FML

Today, I started my new job. The first thing my coworkers asked me is what football team I like. When I told them I didn't really like sports, they immediately stopped talking to me and haven't since, even when I ask them work-related questions. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22789) - you deserved it (2568)

On 09/06/2015 at 8:46am - work - by NotASportsGuy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I showed my daughter video footage from a security camera that showed her using her employee key to enter the store I own, disarming the alarm, and stealing several very valuable items. Her defense? That someone had "photoshopped" the video. We'll see how that goes down in court. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28217) - you deserved it (2578)

On 09/04/2015 at 1:01pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

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