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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

9Liked!

laden_swallow09laden_swallow09
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9076
  • Number of comments : 2447
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it. That's likely why you're here, innit?

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…
HEIL, SPELLCHECK!

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>buckdharma</b> - 16 hours ago<b>FitFriday</b> - yesterday at 3:36pm<b>dapoog124</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:33pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 8:30am<b>turkeynoodle</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:26pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 7:41pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 4:03pm<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 2:01pm<b>fridaayy</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:22am<b>Danidog74</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:36am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 5:35pm<b>annihil8or</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 11:37am<b>vegemute</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 4:38am<b>Adeptus_Astartes</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:54pm<b>hasbeen</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:01pm<b>mikepzz</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 7:30am<b>stephanyovalle</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 4:15pm<b>Fayern</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 2:03pm

Liked!<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:01pm<b>coraline123c</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 3:49am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 7:07pm<b>AKlife9999</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 3:35pm<b>swagmaster696969</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:24pm<b>jenamalone</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:17pm<b>okibi1</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:38pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 8:50pm<b>JayDay_123</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 6:01pm

laden_swallow09's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of laden_swallow09's badges

laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML

#20990341
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49103) - you deserved it (3139)

On 12/12/2013 at 4:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML

#20988723
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38390) - you deserved it (2449)

On 12/11/2013 at 6:58am - misc - by a.white - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, marks my fifth day being an English teacher's assistant. I spent it like the other four days: grading and editing terrible Teen Wolf, One Direction and Doctor Who high school fan-fiction. Six months until I get out of here. FML

#20987358
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38052) - you deserved it (5731)

On 12/10/2013 at 2:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54794) - you deserved it (3070)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML

#20983816
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48666) - you deserved it (5676)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by john doe (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

#20981890
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39195) - you deserved it (21780)

On 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by possibly a sweater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my wicked mother has been with us for a week. She's already thrown away my daughter's favorite toy, broke my computer, scratched my oak table, stained my most expensive shirt, peed in our bed, and called the attention of the cops by staring at kids in school. She's staying for three months. FML

Today, I was gushing about my love for Disney princesses when someone told me I "definitely needed to calm down." By whom? A four-year-old girl. FML

Today, I had to explain to half of my class that yes, my birthday is on the same day as Hitler's, but no, it does not make me a Nazi. FML

#20981261
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40999) - you deserved it (2732)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by happy birthday to me (woman) - United States

Today, my neighbor put up an electric fence to keep my five-year-old son out. FML

#20980679
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37977) - you deserved it (12936)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm - kids - by Awkward - United States (Washington)

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

#20977282
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44375) - you deserved it (19920)

On 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm - work - by fuck my eyeballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
100 comments

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67210) - you deserved it (5588)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my heart rate is higher while playing Tetris than it is during sex. FML

#20968767
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39160) - you deserved it (6030)

On 11/24/2013 at 7:30am - misc - by TetrisMaster - Australia

Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML

#20967061
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41048) - you deserved it (2895)

On 11/22/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)



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