laden_swallow09

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Offline (the 06/29/2016 at 3:33am)

laden_swallow09

62Fucked!

laden_swallow09laden_swallow09
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 June 1937 (79 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17578
  • Number of comments : 3390
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for. And why did they replace the YDI button with this stupid "Glad It Wasn't Me" bullshit? Making FML a more friendly and PC place? I dun geddit. Speaking of PC, this website is ageist against the elderly! Try changing your birthday and see what happens when you say you're born before 1936.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it, but that's likely why you're here on my profile, innit?

"It's now very common for them to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that,' as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning. It has no purpose. It has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what?" – Stephen Fry, actor/comedian

If you're thinking about getting an iPhone 6/+, don't. They're way too big.

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…
HEIL, SPELLCHECK!

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>hackint0sh1</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 4:53pm<b>cuz803</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 8:26pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 3:28am<b>I_Am_The_Cold</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 9:56pm<b>Dr_Awesome654</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 3:13pm<b>optimusic</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 8:21am<b>NostalgiaFreak9</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 3:51pm<b>Ava_Darkflame</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 12:39pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 4:14pm<b>French_giirl</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 6:11pm<b>arsh_fz</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 1:38pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 10:35pm<b>brownapple</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 2:00am<b>purple_bunnies</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 2:48am<b>SaltLord</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 10:54pm<b>Jxce</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 3:03am<b>EvilLittleGirl</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 5:46pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 4:39pm

Fucked!<b>cuz803</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 2:26am<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 10:14pm<b>EvilLittleGirl</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 11:46pm<b>sinisterviper</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 11:44pm<b>cheyluvsturtles</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 7:29am<b>WarMachine68</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 4:37pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 3:10pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 4:37am<b>Farklez</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 11:18pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 3:24pm<b>crack229</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 7:43pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 4:59am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 9:48pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 3:48pm<b>cupcakebruh</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 8:07pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 4:39am<b>explodedtaco</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 12:17pm<b>Seashells77</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:18am

laden_swallow09's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of laden_swallow09's badges

laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, I was let go from my internship for "not putting in enough effort". I was working 50 hours a week for almost zero pay. FML

by Wellfu / 04/02/2015 at 10:48am / Europe / Work

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

by soontobewidow / 03/28/2015 at 5:20am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Intimacy

Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2015 at 12:39am / United States (Alabama) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend of a month told me that the only thing keeping her from swallowing a bottle of pills is being in a relationship with me, because she doesn't handle breakups well. FML

by cherokeems / 03/26/2015 at 1:44pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayn Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I disproved a scientific theory created by my supervisor. He was furious and said that I shouldn't have tried to disprove him. He told me to continue working with his theory and now he threatens to fire me if I publish my work. FML

by ZG_Rules / 03/20/2015 at 10:38am / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Work

Today, I found out how much those tiny dogs cost when my German Shepherd ate one. FML

by brokeforever / 03/18/2015 at 6:23pm / Latvia (Riga) / Animals

Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone call. They were impressed with me. That's when my son decided to throw a tantrum asking for food. After some silence, the caller told me they were looking for someone who wasn't juggling little kids at home and hung up. My son is 20. FML

by Stressed Mother / 03/18/2015 at 5:26pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. The first thing he did was hand me a paper containing listed rules he expects me to follow. When I asked if it was a joke, he promptly pointed to number 7 on the list, "Cleanliness is not a joke". FML

by mukduk / 03/16/2015 at 8:26am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after several months of eating right, exercising, and weight loss, my mother has yet again arrived at my house, unannounced and with a very sugary cake. She's been doing this most weeks since I lost 50 pounds. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2015 at 11:02am / United States / Health

Today, I was told that I need to learn to "let things go" by a woman who held a four-month grudge over a ham sandwich. FML

by NoHamForMeThanks / 03/08/2015 at 10:36pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I moved into my new apartment. As I sat in my living room watching Netflix, I found out that my window has an excellent view of my new neighbors, who just so happen to like to shag with the blinds open. I guess I'll be buying some curtains. FML

by curtain buyer / 03/08/2015 at 9:05pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call from a potential employer. Unfortunately, I couldn't understand the man due to his incoherent mumbling. I had to decline the job after asking him to repeat everything he said, over and over again. I still don't know exactly which job I declined. FML

by phishy / 03/05/2015 at 5:26pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I thought I had carbon monoxide poisoning because I had the symptoms and my detector was going off. I called the fire dept, they checked me, they checked my apartment. My apartment is fine; I'm just out of shape, have high blood pressure, and don't know how to work simple electronics. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2015 at 12:12am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, I got a laptop for my birthday. I was thrilled until I realized that my mom had given away my old one without asking. 6 years of games, music, and pictures down the drain. FML

by Hi-Tech / 03/03/2015 at 10:34am / Europe / Miscellaneous