About laden_swallow09 : It is a shame that correcting stupidity is called assault in the court system.
Oh, before I forget, I'm on the iPhone app only, so I'm sorry that I can't read your hate mail! :(
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Today, I decided to use hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6409) - you deserved it (16093)
On 09/08/2012 at 1:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14470) - you deserved it (2969)
On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18865) - you deserved it (2002)
On 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm - work - by PuddlePirate (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19087) - you deserved it (1416)
On 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20145) - you deserved it (7525)
On 09/05/2012 at 12:44am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, at a supermarket entrance, a seemingly drunk old lady said, "Sir?" as I passed by. I just ignored her and walked in. When I walked out with my groceries fifteen minutes later, several people were standing around her, calling for an ambulance. She'd passed out on the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6638) - you deserved it (44574)
On 09/04/2012 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I realized my husband and I have been fighting a lot lately, so to show him how much I care, I got a tattoo with his name on it. He hates it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4896) - you deserved it (32781)
On 09/04/2012 at 12:44pm - love - by noname1025 - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13664) - you deserved it (32183)
On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16111) - you deserved it (3258) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/31/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by TBTC (woman) - France (Pays de la Loire)
Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6596) - you deserved it (20152)
On 08/29/2012 at 9:33pm - misc - by nolife - United States (Virginia)
Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24360) - you deserved it (4963)
On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19667) - you deserved it (2469)
On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that my crush didn't remember calling me beautiful, telling me he liked me, or any of the other romantic things he said to me while drunk last night. He did however remember me promising to bake him cookies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16352) - you deserved it (1794)
On 08/25/2012 at 2:53am - misc - by coolcocoxxx (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4529) - you deserved it (51561)
On 08/23/2012 at 9:42am - misc - by TheBeautifulOne (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)
Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4529) - you deserved it (51561)
On 08/23/2012 at 9:42am - misc - by TheBeautifulOne (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
