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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 June 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13001
  • Number of comments : 2974
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it, but that's likely why you're here on my profile, innit?

"It's now very common for them to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that,' as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning. It has no purpose. It has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what?" – Stephen Fry, actor/comedian

If you're thinking about getting an iPhone 6/+, don't. They're way too big.

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>emmalouise89</b> - yesterday at 11:17am<b>FlashlightBob</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 7:14pm<b>OhGawdMyEyes</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 2:01pm<b>Tractor_Bait</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 9:50am<b>lexigirl1228</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 11:06pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 10:06pm<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 4:59am<b>DappeRB</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 10:43am<b>Yadiloh52</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 3:57pm<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 2:26pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 5:20am<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 10:43pm<b>Ilmoran</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 9:59pm<b>devi_916</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 11:02am<b>Zinnie</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 7:28am<b>romegatekeeper</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 7:00am<b>foxmatrix15</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 3:24am<b>kylie31</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 11:49pm

Fucked!<b>FlashlightBob</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 1:14am<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 4:44am<b>devi_916</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:03pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 5:51am<b>openminded8</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 7:57pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 7:12pm<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:17am<b>AnAngryyGiraffe</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:14pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:10am<b>ThatGuy878</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 10:42pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:10pm<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:25am<b>milkie</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:16pm<b>AddictGamer</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 6:25am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 7:46pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 2:13pm<b>Johnnycake23</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:29am<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:50pm

laden_swallow09's FML badges


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I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two years ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47372) - you deserved it (2199)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm - work - by kysier (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34274) - you deserved it (7802)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19420) - you deserved it (57480)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my fiancé and his family accused me of being with him only because he's rich, refusing to go ahead with the wedding. I accepted his marriage proposal 4 years ago, when he was penniless and unemployed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43307) - you deserved it (2802)

On 02/24/2015 at 10:10am - love - by Anonymous - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, a woman yelled at me for holding a door open for her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32593) - you deserved it (3082)

On 02/23/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Wutdafuqq (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML


I agree, your life sucks (46281) - you deserved it (4356)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my son's school soccer game. Unfortunately, I couldn't get excited about it because my idiot son kept diving the moment anyone so much as breathed on him. It eventually earned him a penalty shot that won him the game. I was so ashamed, I snuck out to avoid being seen with him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32053) - you deserved it (9727)

On 02/17/2015 at 3:02pm - kids - by Clive81 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for 'impeding a police officer'. My car was in my driveway. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42386) - you deserved it (2378)

On 02/16/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35365) - you deserved it (3824)

On 02/08/2015 at 5:26am - health - by irwingiggles (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I went to have a pre-cancerous mole removed off of my nose. When the doctor numbed my nose, she didn't check to see if the anesthetic actually worked, and began hacking away at my nose, leaving me to feel every last flick of the razor. Turns out I have an immunity to that anesthetic. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29073) - you deserved it (2260)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:00pm - health - by ThatWasntFun - United States (Florida)

Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML


I agree, your life sucks (39172) - you deserved it (2702)

On 01/24/2015 at 1:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Giurgiu)

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44315) - you deserved it (2889)

On 01/23/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28609) - you deserved it (19596)

On 01/18/2015 at 11:34am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I found out how whipped I am when, at the climax of sex, I moaned, "I'm sorry!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (30513) - you deserved it (7286)

On 01/14/2015 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by imsorry (man) - United States (California)

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44036) - you deserved it (2932)

On 01/09/2015 at 2:04pm - love - by je suis christy - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

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