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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09laden_swallow09
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9150
  • Number of comments : 2452
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it. That's likely why you're here, innit?

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…
HEIL, SPELLCHECK!

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>WattledParsley</b> - 2 hours ago<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:20am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 5:45am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:36pm<b>dapoog124</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:33pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 8:30am<b>turkeynoodle</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:26pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 7:41pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 4:03pm<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 2:01pm<b>fridaayy</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:22am<b>Danidog74</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:36am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 5:35pm<b>annihil8or</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 11:37am<b>vegemute</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 4:38am<b>Adeptus_Astartes</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:54pm<b>hasbeen</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:01pm<b>mikepzz</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 7:30am

Liked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - yesterday at 6:20am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:01pm<b>coraline123c</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 3:49am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 7:07pm<b>AKlife9999</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 3:35pm<b>swagmaster696969</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:24pm<b>jenamalone</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:17pm<b>okibi1</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:38pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 8:50pm<b>JayDay_123</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 6:01pm

laden_swallow09's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of laden_swallow09's badges

laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she's afraid of my ex-wife. This is the third one in a row to use that very reason. The judge still won't accept my pleas for a restraining order. FML

#21333809
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33411) - you deserved it (2163)

On 01/09/2015 at 6:43am - love - by swimfaned - United States

Today, I gave birth to our first child at home. What was supposed to be a beautiful moment of us peacefully greeting our newborn, ended up with the cops knocking on our door. Apparently me giving birth sounds like a domestic dispute. FML

#21331295
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30731) - you deserved it (6370)

On 01/05/2015 at 12:58pm - kids - by midwify (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I gave feedback on how the store is run at the owners' request, because they don't understand why everyone keeps quitting. I guess they took it personally, because they asked me not to come back. FML

#21328814
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25183) - you deserved it (2322)

On 01/01/2015 at 6:03pm - work - by outofajob - United States (Utah)

Today, I met my new roommate. I hadn't even gotten her name yet, because the first thing she said to me instead was that she wanted to hang her confederate flag on the wall. I'm black. FML

#21326235
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35513) - you deserved it (4288)

On 12/29/2014 at 12:00am - misc - by okay17 - United States

Today, my boss sent me a Word document that he wanted me to make into a PowerPoint presentation for him. It was a set of proposals for the board of directors about cost-saving options. The third option was to eliminate my position in the company. FML

#21325772
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29443) - you deserved it (1785)

On 12/28/2014 at 8:56am - work - by HALIFAAA (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I went to break up with my psychotic bitch of a girlfriend after months of abuse. When she opened the door, her 5-year-old son ran up to me, smiling and calling me "DADDY!" for the first time. Now I don't have the heart to dump the psycho and devastate her son. FML

#21324667
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32854) - you deserved it (5111)

On 12/26/2014 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

#21323893
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33081) - you deserved it (3463)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, I went to my retail job to buy some clothing. As soon as I walked through the doors, my manager yelled at me for not being in appropriate work clothes. I tried to explain that I was off the clock but he was having none of it. I got written up. FML

#21322497
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32230) - you deserved it (2618)

On 12/23/2014 at 3:14am - work - by I hate my job - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

#21322290
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39211) - you deserved it (4360)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm - love - by Soulara89 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35116) - you deserved it (6738)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, I asked my spouse to help me apply some hemorrhoid relief cream, since I couldn't see what was going on down there clearly. Next time, I hope I'll remember if I'm still in a conference call with my online classmates so they don't witness the whole thing again. FML

Today, I found out that the "IRS scam" that I ignored last week was actually not a scam, and now I have a warrant out for me. FML

#21317643
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29980) - you deserved it (6025)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:50pm - money - by dawg - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

#21315008
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35509) - you deserved it (3717)

On 12/10/2014 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by unlovedandunfucked (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

#21312305
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32768) - you deserved it (3029)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:18am - work - by ring-a-ding-ding (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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