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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5449
  • Number of comments : 1970
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - 18 hours ago<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 3:51am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 8:22pm<b>WantaDanish</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 10:36am<b>tylerbrynds</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:34am<b>TheAtomicBomb</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:36am<b>Blake77</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 11:08pm<b>akirakuran42</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 9:31pm<b>bkirky</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 7:12pm<b>mathen</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 6:23pm<b>JustinKs</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 5:54pm<b>josiemijn</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 5:32pm<b>FedoraGuy</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:38pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 3:17pm<b>Onyxdragon</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:32pm<b>JVVortex</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 11:41am<b>moonbootz</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:59am<b>hare</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:18am

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laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

#21241406
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41260) - you deserved it (2707)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:15am - health - by BagelTheOtaku (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was waiting at a stop light in the left turn lane, when a homeless guy on the sidewalk walked up to my car with a, "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter" sign. The lady on my right decided to throw a quarter at him, but it missed and hit my windshield. She yelled, "Oh fuck!" and drove away. FML

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21240415
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30397) - you deserved it (4853)

On 08/18/2014 at 9:26am - kids - by 919191 (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

#21238932
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40970) - you deserved it (6681)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by gag reflex - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

#21238336
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16403) - you deserved it (31708)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm - money - by thoughthewasjoking (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33295) - you deserved it (4892)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after having multiple dreams where I have a daughter with my boyfriend, I'm now emotionally attached to a child who isn't real, and I get depressed when I can't be with her in real life. FML

#21237524
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34127) - you deserved it (7482)

On 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML

#21237389
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37347) - you deserved it (3202)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by UnSupported (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36345) - you deserved it (2540)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

#21235982
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36867) - you deserved it (8764)

On 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46319) - you deserved it (18221)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40841) - you deserved it (6045)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML

#21231691
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25992) - you deserved it (37301)

On 08/07/2014 at 11:36am - health - by Dancing King (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was taking an order for a patron at the casino. The policy is to "pay first." After explaining this to him, he still refused to pay. After years of being polite, I finally cracked and said, "You are making this really f-ing difficult". This particular patron was our CEO's son. FML

#21228632
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37211) - you deserved it (12052)

On 08/03/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by really though? - United States (Delaware)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48021) - you deserved it (20897)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



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