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laden_swallow09

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

laden_swallow09

51Fucked!

laden_swallow09laden_swallow09
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 June 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 14306
  • Number of comments : 3156
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it, but that's likely why you're here on my profile, innit?

"It's now very common for them to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that,' as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning. It has no purpose. It has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what?" – Stephen Fry, actor/comedian

If you're thinking about getting an iPhone 6/+, don't. They're way too big.

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…
HEIL, SPELLCHECK!

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>itzypedia</b> - 13 hours ago<b>antonio_bob</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 9:41am<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 5:47am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 10:58pm<b>smxiricky</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 10:44pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 3:47pm<b>papygeorges</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 2:18am<b>damnfam</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 9:50pm<b>kwilkens</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:19pm<b>MrGodface</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 9:49pm<b>Guler28</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 10:08pm<b>saxyguy</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 5:41pm<b>slim_immy</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 4:14am<b>fufufe</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 12:28pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:31pm<b>psmith78332</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:30pm<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:20pm<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:01pm

Fucked!<b>Toonice45</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 4:59am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 9:48pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 3:48pm<b>cupcakebruh</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 8:07pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 4:39am<b>explodedtaco</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 12:17pm<b>Seashells77</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:18am<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 3:53pm<b>kkorn051212</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 4:25am<b>Scrambled</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 2:35pm<b>junjunbun</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 6:43pm<b>FlashlightBob</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 1:14am<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 4:44am<b>devi_916</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:03pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 5:51am<b>openminded8</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 7:57pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 7:12pm<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:17am

laden_swallow09's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of laden_swallow09's badges

laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, which he was happy about, until I told him in the interest of fair play he also had to let me fuck him with a strap on. It didn't take him very long to suddenly decide anal is disgusting, with all kinds of health risks. And he thinks he's the smart one. FML

#21522856
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20502) - you deserved it (3090)

On 02/04/2016 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by sandra (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, after finding out that my professor likes to talk trash about, and constantly belittle, Muslims in every American History class he teaches, I submitted an essay about Muslim contributions to humanity. He held me back after class and asked why I gave him such filth. I'm a Muslim. FML

#21522430
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25420) - you deserved it (4058)

On 02/03/2016 at 1:14pm - work - by Upset (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the gym. I'm 360 lbs and have finally decided it's time to change that. Some girl and her two bitch friends thought it'd be fun to follow me and belittle me at everything I did. When I mentioned it to the staff, they said that they were just "encouraging" me. FML

#21522018
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27260) - you deserved it (1739)

On 02/02/2016 at 5:17am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my sister shaving, naked. I don't know what's worse, the fact I've now seen her nude, or that she looks ten times better than any girl I've ever slept with. FML

#21521379
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23263) - you deserved it (5039)

On 01/31/2016 at 4:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while I was working replacing a windshield, some jerk off hit my truck. A truck carrying 2 grand in glass. Including the windshield I was about to install. The driver gets out and says, "Sorry man, I had to text my girlfriend." FML

#21517790
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22426) - you deserved it (1108)

On 01/21/2016 at 1:09pm - work - by automotive glass tech - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, at college, I asked the girl who usually sits next to me if she wanted to team up on our latest assignment. She gave me a disgusted look, said "Um, I'm MARRIED. Creep." and walked away. Seriously, what the fuck? FML

#21515729
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22719) - you deserved it (1311)

On 01/15/2016 at 10:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finished reading a manga series on a website I go on all the time. As I read the last page I got a huge celebratory message from the website saying I was the first one to read every manga on their site. The website opened in 2011 and has over 30,000 manga. My God, I need a social life. FML

#21514123
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21476) - you deserved it (6174)

On 01/11/2016 at 9:47pm - misc - by Lesser spotted female gaming nerd (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML

#21513340
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8996) - you deserved it (72832)

On 01/09/2016 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, at 26, I got chicken pox. My parents stand by their belief that I got it because I'm not right with God, not because they didn't vaccinate me. FML

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

#21510678
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25351) - you deserved it (22366)

On 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm spending Christmas Eve at the hospital. Why? Because when I blew my nose, a ball of flesh connected to a tendril of skin shot out, and it wouldn't go back up. FML

#21507325
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20574) - you deserved it (1374)

On 12/24/2015 at 2:01pm - health - by yek (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I threw a punch at my sensei like he told me to, except he failed to block it like he assured me he would. Now I'm banned from his classes and I'm pretty sure he's going to get the police involved. FML

#21506859
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24262) - you deserved it (1701)

On 12/23/2015 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I bought a PS4 online for my boyfriend's birthday. I put it on our joint credit card through Paypal to keep it a surprise. The company decided to ruin that surprise when they called him to confirm the transaction. FML

Today, I was giving my friend a crash course in Star Wars over coffee. As I was telling him about the primitive and savage Sand People, some attention-seeking tit came out of nowhere and called me racist. Apparently she thought I was talking about people from the Middle East. FML

#21505182
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22361) - you deserved it (1940)

On 12/18/2015 at 2:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML

#21504013
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27924) - you deserved it (2403)

On 12/15/2015 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous - Germany (Bayern)



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