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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09laden_swallow09
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8292
  • Number of comments : 2353
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it. That's likely why you're here, innit?

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…
HEIL, SPELLCHECK!

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>WattledParsley</b> - 3 hours ago<b>wastingtimeisfun</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Amiiii</b> - 7 hours ago<b>SecretSociety7</b> - 9 hours ago<b>emeester</b> - yesterday at 10:16am<b>Samiepoo</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 4:17pm<b>staaacey</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 2:54am<b>ImBored15</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 10:53pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 7:03pm<b>afranklin212</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 3:12pm<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 12:24pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 9:13am<b>xwingtwo</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 1:37pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 12:15pm<b>Jazoo1</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 4:04pm<b>jenamalone</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 12:47pm<b>iAmPaul</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 9:17am<b>JokerJ312</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 2:46pm

Liked!<b>AKlife9999</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 3:35pm<b>swagmaster696969</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:24pm<b>jenamalone</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:17pm<b>okibi1</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:38pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 8:50pm<b>JayDay_123</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 6:01pm

laden_swallow09's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

See all of laden_swallow09's badges

laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML

#21343453
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26860) - you deserved it (1844)

On 01/24/2015 at 1:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Giurgiu)

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

#21342800
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36565) - you deserved it (2301)

On 01/23/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

#21339526
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25972) - you deserved it (18427)

On 01/18/2015 at 11:34am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I found out how whipped I am when, at the climax of sex, I moaned, "I'm sorry!" FML

#21337152
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25932) - you deserved it (5994)

On 01/14/2015 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by imsorry (man) - United States (California)

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

#21333944
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39135) - you deserved it (2450)

On 01/09/2015 at 2:04pm - love - by je suis christy - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she's afraid of my ex-wife. This is the third one in a row to use that very reason. The judge still won't accept my pleas for a restraining order. FML

#21333809
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33080) - you deserved it (2158)

On 01/09/2015 at 6:43am - love - by swimfaned - United States

Today, I gave birth to our first child at home. What was supposed to be a beautiful moment of us peacefully greeting our newborn, ended up with the cops knocking on our door. Apparently me giving birth sounds like a domestic dispute. FML

#21331295
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30548) - you deserved it (6354)

On 01/05/2015 at 12:58pm - kids - by midwify (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I gave feedback on how the store is run at the owners' request, because they don't understand why everyone keeps quitting. I guess they took it personally, because they asked me not to come back. FML

#21328814
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25108) - you deserved it (2317)

On 01/01/2015 at 6:03pm - work - by outofajob - United States (Utah)

Today, I met my new roommate. I hadn't even gotten her name yet, because the first thing she said to me instead was that she wanted to hang her confederate flag on the wall. I'm black. FML

#21326235
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35474) - you deserved it (4278)

On 12/29/2014 at 12:00am - misc - by okay17 - United States

Today, my boss sent me a Word document that he wanted me to make into a PowerPoint presentation for him. It was a set of proposals for the board of directors about cost-saving options. The third option was to eliminate my position in the company. FML

#21325772
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29401) - you deserved it (1783)

On 12/28/2014 at 8:56am - work - by HALIFAAA (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I went to break up with my psychotic bitch of a girlfriend after months of abuse. When she opened the door, her 5-year-old son ran up to me, smiling and calling me "DADDY!" for the first time. Now I don't have the heart to dump the psycho and devastate her son. FML

#21324667
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32723) - you deserved it (5103)

On 12/26/2014 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

#21323893
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32557) - you deserved it (3442)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, I went to my retail job to buy some clothing. As soon as I walked through the doors, my manager yelled at me for not being in appropriate work clothes. I tried to explain that I was off the clock but he was having none of it. I got written up. FML

#21322497
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32208) - you deserved it (2614)

On 12/23/2014 at 3:14am - work - by I hate my job - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

#21322290
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39034) - you deserved it (4350)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm - love - by Soulara89 (woman) - United States (Florida)



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