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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 June 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 12952
  • Number of comments : 2965
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it, but that's likely why you're here on my profile, innit?

"It's now very common for them to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that,' as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning. It has no purpose. It has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what?" – Stephen Fry, actor/comedian

If you're thinking about getting an iPhone 6/+, don't. They're way too big.

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>lexigirl1228</b> - yesterday at 11:06pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 10:06pm<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 4:59am<b>DappeRB</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 10:43am<b>Yadiloh52</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 3:57pm<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 2:26pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 5:20am<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 10:43pm<b>Ilmoran</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 9:59pm<b>devi_916</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 11:02am<b>Zinnie</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 7:28am<b>romegatekeeper</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 7:00am<b>foxmatrix15</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 3:24am<b>kylie31</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 11:49pm<b>Geckosrock99</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 5:00pm<b>KayDee29</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 4:54pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 3:34pm<b>iPixelCheese</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 2:33pm

Fucked!<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 4:44am<b>devi_916</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:03pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 5:51am<b>openminded8</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 7:57pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 7:12pm<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:17am<b>AnAngryyGiraffe</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:14pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:10am<b>ThatGuy878</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 10:42pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:10pm<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:25am<b>milkie</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:16pm<b>AddictGamer</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 6:25am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 7:46pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 2:13pm<b>Johnnycake23</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:29am<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:50pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:45am

laden_swallow09's FML badges


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I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of laden_swallow09's badges

laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, I was stung by a wasp. Startled, I stumbled and grabbed a nearby tree branch to regain my balance. The branch happened to be the location of the wasp's nest, which fell to the ground and split open. The wasps weren't happy. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16069) - you deserved it (1147)

On 10/04/2015 at 7:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, we had a school reunion. The guy who bullied me throughout my high school career is now rich and married. I'm broke and single, and he specifically came up to me to point it out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20201) - you deserved it (1548)

On 10/03/2015 at 4:45pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was babysitting a couple of kids. I'd spent time with them before, so I brought my video game console to play with them. I forgot to take it home with me. They soon sold it to another kid for $10. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21820) - you deserved it (5493)

On 09/29/2015 at 9:21am - kids - by Thatguynoonelikes - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my shut in of a daughter why she was sniffing black pepper. She said she was practicing to make her sneezes sound like coughs, thereby decreasing the likelihood of someone talking to her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21097) - you deserved it (2120)

On 09/25/2015 at 9:17pm - misc - by My Daughter Fails at Life (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my married life pretty much consists of punching myself in the penis until my libido goes down, since my wife has physical ailments that prevent her from even wanting to have sex. FML

Today, my boss quit, leaving me as the only structural engineer at my company. I'm fresh out of college and will have to finish the projects on my own. Hope Google can teach me how to do this. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22679) - you deserved it (1549)

On 09/23/2015 at 1:09pm - work - by ImAnEngineer (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got an angry call from my 7-year-old son's school. It turned out that while doing a "what I want to be when I'm older" assignment, he wrote that he wants to be an internet troll so he can make people mad and make them kill themselves. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23943) - you deserved it (3648)

On 09/23/2015 at 11:48am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my ex came out as transgender. I had absolutely no problem with this, in fact I celebrated her bravery. What I did have a problem with was all my friends immediately assuming that this was the reason I broke up with her, and not that she'd cheated on me for 6 months. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22947) - you deserved it (1634)

On 09/23/2015 at 4:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

Today, I turned 25. I'm single, still living at home and doing an unpaid internship in an industry I have no interest in, because it was the only accepted application after 6 months of unemployment. The daily 45-minute drive means I'm losing money every week for being "employed" with a PhD. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21041) - you deserved it (2523)

On 09/21/2015 at 3:09pm - work - by experience_to_get_experience (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27825) - you deserved it (2637)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after weeks of my girlfriend constantly mentioning pegging and asking me to let her do it, I caved and figured I might as well stand by my "try anything once" rule. Her response? Saying she knew I was gay all along and dumping me. The fuck? FML


I agree, your life sucks (23737) - you deserved it (2741)

On 09/20/2015 at 9:44am - intimacy - by no I've never asked for anal (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whiskey, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33516) - you deserved it (2143)

On 09/17/2015 at 3:48pm - kids - by Angus (man) - France

Today, I found out that after three years of telling my boss our strategy wasn't going to work, that I was right - it didn't work. I also found out that because it didn't work, I lost my job. My boss still has his. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22217) - you deserved it (1406)

On 09/17/2015 at 3:14am - work - by Unemployed (man) -

Today, I tried the 'Casual Encounter' page on Craigslist. Three hours, a bunch of spam, and a 30-minute call to some company, speaking to some lady I could barely understand to recover the $40 somehow charged to my card. I think I might want to try other ways to meet people. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16393) - you deserved it (8675)

On 09/16/2015 at 10:51pm - love - by StickyPickles (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm on vacation in Japan with my brother. When he said he could speak Japanese, I guess what he really meant that he's a dumbass weeaboo who only knows the words "kawaii", "baka", "sugoi" and a few others. He ended up offending two locals so much that they beat the shit out of us. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24881) - you deserved it (2920)

On 09/16/2015 at 1:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Japan

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  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

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