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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32942) - you deserved it (67764)
On 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm - kids - by heytherexo (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16809) - you deserved it (21887)
On 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by IntimidatorStag (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was awarding medals to finalists in a school club. While putting one around someones neck, I ended up poking a girl in the eye. She tried to be a trooper by continuing to walk across stage but i guess her eyes got really watery because she missed the step and fell, breaking her ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16555) - you deserved it (5653)
On 02/05/2009 at 3:13pm - misc - by Craig (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple smirnoff, I puked up the Chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13643) - you deserved it (4883)
On 01/31/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by helloworld92 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found my drunken roommate asleep in my bed, naked, after he'd peed himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17604) - you deserved it (931)
On 01/30/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by shit - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her itunes was on random. "Rape me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18526) - you deserved it (4950)
On 01/30/2009 at 12:27pm - love - by RollieCollieUSA - United States (Illinois)
Today, I interviewed for a call center job making $13/hr, the only job where they called back. I used to live in a doorman luxury apartment in Manhattan with a prime skyline view and clubhouse. That was last month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21484) - you deserved it (5960)
On 01/30/2009 at 11:19am - money - by Banker - United States (Virginia)
Today, I received a text message from my older brother. It said, "Ah... I want you". I hope to god it was intended for someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19493) - you deserved it (1098)
On 01/30/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by Ren - United States (Illinois)
Today, a toddler's play ball rolled over to me in the park. I playfully pitched it to him as his parents watched from afar. The ball hit him in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15842) - you deserved it (2134)
On 01/29/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32012) - you deserved it (25992)
On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17045) - you deserved it (4133)
On 01/29/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by FailBear - United States (California)
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22049) - you deserved it (2098)
On 01/29/2009 at 4:25pm - animals - by MoncaBang - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19983) - you deserved it (4876)
Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20777) - you deserved it (1772)
On 01/27/2009 at 2:42pm - kids - by Noname - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I picked up my cat and it went wild because I didn't know he was sleeping. I ended with with several cuts, and one on my wrist. Later a kid in my high school saw my wrist and told my guidance counselor who told my parents. Now everyone thinks I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17802) - you deserved it (1590)
On 01/27/2009 at 12:44pm - animals - by Anizzaf - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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