Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

l23VIVE

Search for a member

l23VIVE
  • Town/Country : The TARDIS, Winterfell, The North
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2723
  • Number of comments : 296
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About l23VIVE : Guten Tag! Hallå! Hello! I am Calvin, I'm single (not that you care), I love history, swimming, reading, A Song of Ice and Fire, Doctor Who (Specifically David Tennant), hugging random people, FML, Assassin's Creed, Skyrim, Civilization V, and Germany.
My gamertag is L23VIVE, add me if you wantMy favorite FMLers- NoorFML (acknowledged my existence 8/12/12) , DocBastard, Perdix (acknowledged my existence 8/12/12) Baustigt (acknowledged my existence 6/17/13), ManintheMachine
I invented the TARDIS, sex, the cake (IT'S A LIE), Chuck Norris, Jon Snow, Lemon Grenades, the Sonic Screwdriver, the Roman Empire, Green Day, the Soviet Union, the Panzerkampfwagen V, Hydrogen, Dragons, Yoda, the color blue, Milk Duds, Gordon Freeman, FML, Carbon, Daleks, The Droids you're looking for and the Xbox 360
My email is 4ss4ss1n05@gmail.com
Allons-y! Oh, and brace yourselves... Winter is Coming...

l23VIVE's last visitors

piggybitsShannonbenaKalipczoMyUsernameKatieAspireworksnot_a_robotVoldy

l23VIVE's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of l23VIVE's badges

l23VIVE's favorite FMLs

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43649) - you deserved it (4550)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML

#20582010
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23924) - you deserved it (7118) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/09/2013 at 6:29am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got called an "evil Nazi bitch" because I let a customer know that this is the last day our store will have free plastic bags. FML

#20581805
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28397) - you deserved it (2090)

On 04/09/2013 at 4:18am - work - by steppppphhhhhh - United States (California)

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

#20577218
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36463) - you deserved it (17977)

On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

#20576240
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40360) - you deserved it (4057)

On 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm - health - by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god (man) - Singapore

Today, I regretfully confessed to my parents I have trichotillomania. There was a torturous pause, followed by the question, "Are you gay?" FML

#20575858
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28012) - you deserved it (4351)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:23am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

#20575072
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37921) - you deserved it (3409)

On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML

#20571924
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33097) - you deserved it (2300)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by effiestonem154 (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to my husband taking a piss on our bedroom floor. I screamed that he wasn't in the bathroom, to which he responded, "Shut up! I'm taking a piss, let me finish!" He has no recollection of the event. Now I have to clean up his piss and rewash my clothes. FML

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

#20571304
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33635) - you deserved it (7422)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML

#20569899
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29925) - you deserved it (6866)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

#20568440
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28961) - you deserved it (4447)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38495) - you deserved it (2838)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, my grandson visited me, and asked if I had any pictures of myself from when I was a little girl. I happily looked for a few photos to give him, asking what had piqued his curiosity. He replied that he wanted some for a presentation he's doing on the Middle Ages. FML

#20555821
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30371) - you deserved it (2548) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/22/2013 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Lorraine)

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

#20555528
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35493) - you deserved it (5266)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: