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About l23VIVE : Guten Tag! Hallå! Hello! I am Calvin, I'm single (not that you care), I love history, swimming, reading, A Song of Ice and Fire, Doctor Who (Specifically David Tennant), hugging random people, FML, Assassin's Creed, Skyrim, Civilization V, and Germany.
My gamertag is L23VIVE, add me if you wantMy favorite FMLers- NoorFML (acknowledged my existence 8/12/12) , DocBastard, Perdix (acknowledged my existence 8/12/12) Baustigt (acknowledged my existence 6/17/13), ManintheMachine
I invented the TARDIS, sex, the cake (IT'S A LIE), Chuck Norris, Jon Snow, Lemon Grenades, the Sonic Screwdriver, the Roman Empire, Green Day, the Soviet Union, the Panzerkampfwagen V, Hydrogen, Dragons, Yoda, the color blue, Milk Duds, Gordon Freeman, FML, Carbon, Daleks, The Droids you're looking for and the Xbox 360
My email is email@example.com
Allons-y! Oh, and brace yourselves... Winter is Coming...
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML
Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML
Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML
Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML
Today, my parents finally got married. At the after-party, my mother got drunk and informed me that even though she and my father were now married, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a bastard. FML
Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML
Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML
Tuesday 22 July 2014