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About l23VIVE : Guten Tag! Hallå! Hello! I am Calvin, I'm single (not that you care), I love history, swimming, reading, A Song of Ice and Fire, Doctor Who (Specifically David Tennant), hugging random people, FML, Assassin's Creed, Skyrim, Civilization V, and Germany.
My gamertag is L23VIVE, add me if you wantMy favorite FMLers- NoorFML (acknowledged my existence 8/12/12) , DocBastard, Perdix (acknowledged my existence 8/12/12) Baustigt (acknowledged my existence 6/17/13), ManintheMachine
I invented the TARDIS, sex, the cake (IT'S A LIE), Chuck Norris, Jon Snow, Lemon Grenades, the Sonic Screwdriver, the Roman Empire, Green Day, the Soviet Union, the Panzerkampfwagen V, Hydrogen, Dragons, Yoda, the color blue, Milk Duds, Gordon Freeman, FML, Carbon, Daleks, The Droids you're looking for and the Xbox 360
My email is email@example.com
Allons-y! Oh, and brace yourselves... Winter is Coming...
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML
Today, I watched TV in the early morning. I was watching The Ring, and when the scene came on where the girl is crawling out of the TV, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML
Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML
Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML
Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML
Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML
Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML
Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML
Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML
Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML
Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML
Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML
Friday 7 March 2014