About l23VIVE : Guten Tag! Hallå! Hello! I am Calvin, I'm single (not that you care), I love history, swimming, reading, A Song of Ice and Fire,
learning new things, FML, Assassin's Creed, Skyrim and Germany.
＼(^o^)／
My gamertag is L23VIVE, add me if you want
My favorite FMLers- NoorFML (acknowledged my existence 8/12/12) , DocBastard, Perdix (acknowledged my existence 8/12/12) Baustigt, ManintheMachine
(=´∀｀)人(´∀｀=)
I invented sex, the cake (IT'S A LIE), Chuck Norris, Jon Snow, Lemon Grenades, the Roman Empire, Green Day, the Soviet Union, the Panzerkampfwagen V, Hydrogen Bombs, Dragons, Yoda, the color blue, Milk Duds, Gordon Freeman, Carbon, The Droids you're looking for and the Xbox 360
(rolls dice and gets 10, you roll dice and get ??? if you rolled lower you must believe me so say the laws of D&D!)
My email is 4ss4ss1n05@gmail.com
Oh, and brace yourselves... Winter is Coming...
The rules are the rules
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30181) - you deserved it (2385)
On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States
Today, I have an upset stomach. Every other minute, it sounds like Chewbacca is screaming to get out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28727) - you deserved it (3683)
On 05/20/2013 at 4:14pm - health - by pixkalexi - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33001) - you deserved it (5554)
On 05/14/2013 at 7:52pm - misc - by Brenden - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35154) - you deserved it (4255)
On 05/08/2013 at 2:42am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44848) - you deserved it (7496)
On 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57808) - you deserved it (8172)
On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24366) - you deserved it (44639)
On 05/02/2013 at 7:02am - work - by FireoftheFuture - United States
Today, my parents finally got married. At the after-party, my mother got drunk and informed me that even though she and my father were now married, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a bastard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36816) - you deserved it (2453)
On 04/29/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by SierraCheyenne (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45535) - you deserved it (9791)
On 04/28/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)
Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37513) - you deserved it (7309)
On 04/19/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43936) - you deserved it (7045)
On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54552) - you deserved it (9167)
On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)
Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31911) - you deserved it (2593)
On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40627) - you deserved it (4301)
On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22986) - you deserved it (7005) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/09/2013 at 6:29am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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