About kyonichii : I'm Vanessa, and that's all you need to know. =3
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7696) - you deserved it (49154)
On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while placing her order. I work as a Drive-Thru cashier at McDonalds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25710) - you deserved it (3493)
On 12/03/2011 at 8:29pm - love - by drummahboi99 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24612) - you deserved it (10765)
On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29356) - you deserved it (5602)
On 10/15/2011 at 2:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I told my son that his grades are dropping and his behavior is getting out of hand. To which he replied, "Yeah, so is your weight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31181) - you deserved it (11844)
On 04/19/2011 at 2:38am - kids - by randa -
Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25211) - you deserved it (6278)
On 04/18/2011 at 12:10pm - misc - by Wendie - United States (California)
Today, my husband of 30 years told me that he thought we should 'just be friends'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51997) - you deserved it (3303)
On 04/15/2011 at 7:38am - love - by ZaraAce (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, I found my dead phone that had been missing for two weeks. I turned it on to see that I had only gotten 2 text messages during the two weeks. They were both from my mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27666) - you deserved it (4780)
On 04/15/2011 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, "This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40481) - you deserved it (4332)
On 12/08/2010 at 9:34am - intimacy - by fme (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I planned to drop a water balloon on my visiting prankster brother from my new apartment's balcony. As he crossed the street, I launched the balloon, and sent it right behind him. It hit an eight year old on a scooter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5534) - you deserved it (22675)
On 12/07/2010 at 11:20pm - misc - by bullseyed (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was kicked out of a Family Dollar. My mom thought it would be fun to press all the buttons on the musical ceramic cathedrals so they would all play at the same time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14720) - you deserved it (1912)
On 11/10/2010 at 8:16am - misc - by dearprudence89 - United States
Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25219) - you deserved it (4137)
On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31745) - you deserved it (10672)
On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31469) - you deserved it (4348)
On 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm - intimacy - by nickim756 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26357) - you deserved it (3520)
On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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