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About kylielaura : Im a fun loving lady with a very sick mind!
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
2day my daughter called 4 me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. looool mega FML
2day I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled fir mah boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
Today... my usband told me tat e can't fine is passport. We're supposed to be leaving fir Prague in two days. He's known about te trip fir monts. It was te anniversary vacation tat was going to elp our frayed relationsip. Now my money is going to a otel in Prague... but I'm not. FML
Today, Mah Boyfriend Was Buying A New Hockey Stick; To Test It Out He Startd Hitting A Ball Around The Aisle And Decidd To Shoot It Back Into Its Bin!! Instead The Ball Hit Me Dead In The Mouth, Giving Me A Fat Lip!! Instead Of Consoling Me, Mah Boyfriend Yelld ( GOAL! ) FML
Today, ma daugter went potty. Just as se alway does, se cummd up to me and announcd, ( I flusd, and wipd, looool and sut te ligt off. ) Ten se did someting brand new. Se coverd ma face wit er and and askd, ( Do tese finger smell? ) Tey did. FML
Today.. . I woke up to a man stroking my leghile smelling my hair . I askd my roommateho he was and she said.. . "Oh.. . that's just my brother . He needs a place to stay and he will be living with us until June . Didn't I tell u that?" No.. . u didn't . FML
Today , I was at the grocery store and this hot guy was staring at my ass , so I smild at him. My mother noticd he was checking my ass out , and she approachd him and said "I know she has a big ass , but it's rude to stare , son." FML
Today, after getting mah appendix taken out, we had to drive over five sets of railroad tracks!! Then, mah four year old brother decidd to punch me in the stomach because, ( I took away his mommy fir two days!! ) big fat FML
Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted him to notice me, so I did my "sexy walk". I then slipped and fell onto my desk, broke my desk, and sprained my wrist. Oh he noticed me alright. FML
Today I slipped on mah icy front porch fell back and hit mah head on the step. I tried to get up but lost mah balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see mah very hot British Ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML
Taday I cummed home from a long day at work to fine a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming looool over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML
Friday 27 March 2015