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kwilking99

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kwilking99

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  • Number of visits : 109
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kwilking99's page activity

Visits<b>sierra142</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 1:58pm

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kwilking99's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

#20550602
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47887) - you deserved it (21518)

On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out that my recurring acne is actually bedbug bites. I have wasted about a hundred dollars on acne cream. FML

#20549483
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32278) - you deserved it (6878)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:30pm - health - by thisentiretime... - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work, I walked in on a disoriented elderly woman eating nachos and cheese off the bathroom floor. She wasn't wearing any pants. FML

#20548521
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32498) - you deserved it (2754)

On 03/17/2013 at 11:14pm - work - by Ihatemyjob (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML

#20541893
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38081) - you deserved it (4237)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:36am - intimacy - by OptimusVader (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54710) - you deserved it (14386)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43942) - you deserved it (6708)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35102) - you deserved it (14548)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML

#20185787
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36143) - you deserved it (3388)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML

#16877997
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54993) - you deserved it (7103)

On 06/27/2011 at 4:56am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML

#16548173
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38544) - you deserved it (10461)

On 06/07/2011 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Punk (man) - United States

Today, I got to listen to my younger brother have sex with a girl while I sat in my room playing World of Warcraft on a Friday night. FML

#14504771
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21867) - you deserved it (40102)

On 01/08/2011 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, while on a six hour flight, someone offered to pay me $20 to swap seats with them. It seemed like a great deal, so I immediately accepted and moved to my new seat. I didn't realize my new neighbor was an old man with a raging boner. FML

#14497966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26542) - you deserved it (12222)

On 01/07/2011 at 3:21pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States

Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML

#14460417
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43538) - you deserved it (5276)

On 01/04/2011 at 5:56am - intimacy - by LoveMyNewBro -

Today, my boyfriend talked me into having drunk sex. Right after we started, my head hit a wall, knocking me out. I woke up to him taking pics of my tits. FML

#14417034
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32351) - you deserved it (11247)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Samantha - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML

#14396481
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42204) - you deserved it (3250)

On 12/30/2010 at 2:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)



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