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kushalkaria's favorite FMLs
Today, I have such an irrational fear of the noise my smoke detector makes when it goes off, that dying in my sleep from smoke inhalation or carbon monoxide poisoning sounds absolutely peachy by comparison. FML
by TheLadyOpal / 12/13/2013 at 2:55am / United States / Health
Today, I was in the middle of an interview; it was going great until I started coughing. That coughing led to an asthma attack, which led to nonstop gagging. I couldn't even answer his final question, "Are you okay?" FML
by Anonymous / 12/12/2013 at 10:47pm / United States / Health
by justin / 12/12/2013 at 10:08pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/12/2013 at 6:25pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/12/2013 at 4:53pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Love
Today, I misplaced my phone at small house party. I found it later, but not before being called a sick bastard by my crush. It seems one of my "friends" sent her a cock pic with my phone, and now she wants nothing to do with me. FML
by spastic hardon / 12/12/2013 at 4:01pm / Australia (Victoria) / Love
Today, I got back the essay I wrote about how my country's education system is fucked. At one point, I made a spelling mistake. My teacher wrote a note about it, basically calling me illiterate and telling me to pay attention in school instead of whining about it. She misspelled "school". FML
by lrn2spel, teach / 12/12/2013 at 1:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML
by [...] / 12/12/2013 at 9:28am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Kids
by Rumors / 12/12/2013 at 6:27am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, my roommate, who happens to be a writer, got so pissed off at his editor that he got drunk, wrapped his arms around my waist, and only stopped when I agreed to spoon him. This is not the first time this has happened either. FML
by Anonymous / 12/12/2013 at 3:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad decided to clean his muddy shoes right beside me by clapping them together, causing mud to fly all over me. This wouldn't have been a problem had I not been wearing my white wedding dress just before getting married. FML
by >.> / 12/12/2013 at 12:31am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/11/2013 at 5:25pm / Luxembourg / Work
by ElephantLover / 12/11/2013 at 3:14pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by hi Mum / 12/11/2013 at 2:59pm / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy
- Today, I woke up to my mom pounding at our front door at 7 in the morning. I thought this was weird… Today, my boyfriend of almost one year broke up with me because I was "trying to change him." All I… Today, my husband and I had sex. This would usually be great if it occured more than once a month,…