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Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40520) - you deserved it (1700)
On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)
Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8379) - you deserved it (16267)
On 08/03/2011 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I quit smoking. It seems that when you don't smoke for almost 24 hours, your sense of smell comes back. I then noticed how disgusting my apartment smells. Great. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8918) - you deserved it (33332)
On 08/02/2011 at 11:33pm - misc - by Username - United States (California)
Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35358) - you deserved it (4182) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version
Today, I missed a call from my mom. It's my birthday, and glad she remembered, I called back to thank her. She was surprised when I brought up going out for dinner, and asked me what the occasion was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26018) - you deserved it (1737)
On 07/21/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27546) - you deserved it (8583)
On 07/18/2011 at 8:36pm - kids - by stargirl - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone pole. I told her they were going to remove it. She started crying and saying, "They can't kill the tree!" She is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24481) - you deserved it (5330)
On 07/09/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by anon - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33699) - you deserved it (1997) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/08/2011 at 11:46am - health - by Anonymous - Belgium (Liege)
Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24616) - you deserved it (4474)
On 07/08/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Username - United States
Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45819) - you deserved it (2290)
On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I had to tell my best friend that I couldn't make it to the lake today or tomorrow because I'd been called in to work. She won't believe me and thinks I'm simply avoiding her. I got called in to bathe and clean dogs' anal glands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20473) - you deserved it (2091)
On 07/01/2011 at 3:23pm - misc - by xXx3mi_MuffinxXx (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31395) - you deserved it (6154)
On 06/28/2011 at 1:03pm - love - by lamortdeshommes - United States
Today, my mother won't give me any painkillers for my migraine. She believes that "When medicine goes into your stomach, the acids stop the medicine from working" and that "It's all in people's heads when medicine works". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25184) - you deserved it (2049)
On 06/25/2011 at 8:58am - health - by Live02Dance - United States (Virginia)
Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7381) - you deserved it (25765)
On 06/22/2011 at 9:31am - misc - by youknowwhatitis - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (22589) - you deserved it (12150)
On 06/20/2011 at 4:12am - love - by blondetergent (man) - Singapore
Monday 17 June 2013
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