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Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket. I appears that my dog often becomes very intimate with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24103) - you deserved it (2550)
On 01/16/2012 at 7:33pm - animals - by Cathy - United States
Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23280) - you deserved it (17420)
On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)
Today, I had to cancel my wedding. On top of being upset about the break up, I was informed I owed a $900 cancellation fee for not using the venue. Single and broke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25816) - you deserved it (2652)
On 01/11/2012 at 11:31am - money - by metalflower01 - United States
Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26975) - you deserved it (6981)
On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was taking a shower at the gym when hearing a loud popping noise. Surprised and startled, I jumped and slipped, hitting my head against the shower wall that left a small gash. The pop noise was just someone blowing bubbles from their gum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16535) - you deserved it (4359)
On 01/02/2012 at 10:38am - misc - by Anon O'Mous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I just finished nearly a year of muscle-building in order to impress my crush. Turns out she doesn't date fit guys, because "they're all jerks". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18847) - you deserved it (11675)
On 12/24/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by Nowajerk (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out that my father has taken my copy of Modern Warfare 3, and re-wrapped it as a Christmas present. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21229) - you deserved it (2346)
On 12/21/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by tacoboy27 - United States (California)
Today, I saw a quarter in my poop. My friends say I do stupid things when I get drunk. Apparently, eating change is one of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6869) - you deserved it (28047)
On 12/13/2011 at 1:32am - health - by photomark - United States
Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21871) - you deserved it (1591)
On 12/09/2011 at 7:23am - misc - by pinkleopleurodon - United States
Today, I admitted to my wife that I'd really like to get a Prius, but I was worried that if I did, everyone would question my sexuality. She told me, "I don't know why you care, everyone already thinks you're gay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21330) - you deserved it (6510)
On 11/26/2011 at 3:50pm - love - by Rich (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26080) - you deserved it (2167)
On 11/15/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by SetoAyumi - United States (California)
Today, I finished a very important but annoying presentation that took four hours to complete. Only after writing a paragraph to explain the presentation and sending it to my boss did I realize that I saved the document as "Shit I have to do to get a promotion." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8688) - you deserved it (27818)
On 11/12/2011 at 7:36pm - work - by TTR (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, a month after my final bout of intimacy with the stage five clinger who's been borderline stalking me since high school, she called to tell me I'm going to be a father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9177) - you deserved it (41488)
On 11/11/2011 at 8:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)
Today, the motorway I usually use was closed off due to a major car accident. With no way off the freeway, my trip took three times longer than usual. I lost control of my bladder mid-way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19495) - you deserved it (3830)
On 11/06/2011 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19092) - you deserved it (2938)
On 11/05/2011 at 7:35pm - health - by Shelbs - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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