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kushalkaria's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/02/2013 at 1:14am / United States (North Carolina) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/02/2013 at 12:16am / United States (Nevada) / Health
Today, I resigned from my job in favor of a higher-paying one. After I filled out and filed the necessary papers, my boss told me that I had been nominated to replace him when he retired in a month. His job pays at least twice what I'm now making. Thanks for telling me, asshat. FML
by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 11:18pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, while writing a self-evaluation for my internship, I had to type up answers to certain questions and then submit them. After submission, I re-read one of the answers I had written that said, "After 3 months on the jon I finally feel like I have accomplished a lot." I had meant to write job. FML
by OnCompanyTimeToo / 09/01/2013 at 9:21pm / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Work
by zephyrgk / 09/01/2013 at 9:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by ClaireWinchester / 09/01/2013 at 8:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML
by WaltTheFuckDad / 09/01/2013 at 7:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom mentioned how she loves certain actor's "British" accent. I couldn't help but mention that there's no such thing, and that there are lots of different accents in Britain. She got pissed and lectured me for "lying" to her and trying to make her feel stupid. FML
by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 6:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was waitressing at work, when a woman decided to change her baby's nappy on a table. One moment I was asking her to leave, and the next, she was shoving a fully shat-out nappy into my hands. She asked me to get rid of it and fetch her baby wipes. FML
by aisbash / 09/01/2013 at 3:35pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 12:34pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML
by NotGabe / 09/01/2013 at 10:25am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, my parents told me that I had been accepted into my top two colleges, but they didn't show me the letters because they were worried that if they spent money on tuition, they wouldn't be able to keep BOTH of their brand new Mercedes. FML
by jfanous / 09/01/2013 at 6:40am / United States (California) / Money
Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML
by happyturtle / 09/01/2013 at 5:57am / Croatia / Intimacy
Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML
by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 1:06am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I'm spending the night with the guy I've been interested in for a while. Instead of sleeping… Today, after using the bar of soap in the shower to wash my face, I looked down and noticed it was… Today, I thought one of my flatmates was beating his girlfriend, so I barged in about to stop him.…