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Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10758) - you deserved it (2024)
On 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15022) - you deserved it (3108)
On 09/29/2012 at 5:14am - intimacy - by BabyG2222 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my mother texted me that she was in labor. She never told me she was pregnant. Apparently she's engaged too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18746) - you deserved it (198)
On 09/27/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Texas)
Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14700) - you deserved it (5513)
On 09/27/2012 at 7:37am - misc - by red (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14700) - you deserved it (5513)
On 09/27/2012 at 7:37am - misc - by red (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I realized that I spend more money on gas to go to my job than what I get paid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18302) - you deserved it (2486)
On 09/24/2012 at 2:21pm - work - by izziegrl - Mexico (Mexico)
Today, I asked my college chemistry teacher for some much-needed help. Instead of explaining anything to me, she scoffed that if I don't understand something, I should "just Google it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14109) - you deserved it (1124)
On 09/21/2012 at 12:22pm - misc - by hopelesscollegestudent - Canada
Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17185) - you deserved it (2828)
On 09/18/2012 at 12:19pm - animals - by Birdwatcher (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11783) - you deserved it (17029)
On 09/14/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27544) - you deserved it (1471)
On 09/14/2012 at 1:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my mother shared my phone number with my brother, despite my explicit wishes that she didn't. He immediately went and put it on Craigslist and several other websites. This is the fourth time I've had to change my number for that very same reason. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19261) - you deserved it (1276)
On 09/10/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3034) - you deserved it (31412)
On 09/07/2012 at 8:26pm - misc - by scumbag i guess - United States (Texas)
Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14425) - you deserved it (2962)
On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I wanted to take a bubble bath with the jets in the bath that I haven't used in years. When I got in, it took me a while to realize that the jets had squirted out slime and a family of unidentifiable bugs that have probably been living there for years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17429) - you deserved it (7185)
On 09/06/2012 at 2:38am - misc - by juliannamelissa - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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