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Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18380) - you deserved it (1552)
On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8539) - you deserved it (16105)
On 10/29/2012 at 2:10pm - kids - by JiggaJayZ - United States
Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17476) - you deserved it (1502)
On 10/29/2012 at 6:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20467) - you deserved it (4602)
On 10/28/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Ceej - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found a notebook my 12-year-old sister had been doodling in. Turns out the "doodles" were poems full of obscenities and descriptions of how she wanted to hurt herself. When I showed it to my mom, she accused me of writing the notebook myself to frame my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17319) - you deserved it (1180)
On 10/26/2012 at 12:38am - kids - by familyofpsychos - United States (Nebraska)
Today, trying to be nice, I asked my little sister how school was. She burst into a temper tantrum and screamed at me to fuck off. She's eight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15920) - you deserved it (1549)
On 10/25/2012 at 3:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20931) - you deserved it (4129)
On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I learned why so much money has been missing from my credit card account. My boyfriend stole it, and has been buying toys for his 3 children. I never knew he had kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18194) - you deserved it (1636)
On 10/14/2012 at 10:19pm - money - by katie_sadface (woman) - Canada
Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24713) - you deserved it (1744)
On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16711) - you deserved it (1362)
On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, the girl I'm dating mentioned that she'd had her healthy wisdom teeth removed to prevent her future children from having wisdom teeth. I laughed. She wasn't joking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17948) - you deserved it (1497)
On 10/10/2012 at 12:45pm - love - by Timmeeh (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)
Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17981) - you deserved it (6397)
On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)
Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23921) - you deserved it (3090)
On 10/04/2012 at 11:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11623) - you deserved it (23264)
On 10/03/2012 at 9:47am - misc - by lonerboner (woman) - United States
Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10759) - you deserved it (2024)
On 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 20 May 2013
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