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kushalkaria's favorite FMLs
Today, my sister-in-law pooped with the bathroom door open until my husband had to tell her to close it, then she came out with unwashed hands and started rooting through the cookies. This isn't even the most unhygienic thing she's done today. FML
by Anonymous / 09/07/2013 at 7:26am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Sean / 09/07/2013 at 4:22am / United States (California) / Kids
by areyoukiddingme / 09/07/2013 at 12:50am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/07/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, at Walmart, a woman kept screaming at her husband for the most ridiculous reasons. My friend snickered that she must be on her period, prompting her to whirl around, storm over, and slap the hell out of me, thinking I was the one who said it. FML
by what's a rimjob between friends? / 09/06/2013 at 5:42pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, at a job interview, I was asked what I thought of twerking. It was a bizarre question, but trying to get on the interviewer's good side, I said I thought it was pretty cool. He snorted and said I'll be job-seeking for a while yet. FML
by howprofessional / 09/06/2013 at 5:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, the mother of one of my students bitched me out about her son's poor grades. He lazes around all day, paying no attention and being a constant nuisance. But, she says it's not his fault, and demands that I give him better grades so he won't get "self-esteem" issues. FML
by jesus christ, dad / 09/06/2013 at 12:48pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy
Today, my car broke down. My dad insisted he could fix it, but screwed up in the process. After finally getting the car towed to a mechanic, I was told that I'd only needed a new water pump, but thanks to the damage my dad did, fixing it all will cost me a small fortune. FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 12:10pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Money
Today, while working at Home Depot, I was asked to cut some wire. When I asked her how much, she said, "From my computer to the wall". After explaining for a while that I didn't know how far that is, she left. FML
by tdawgg / 09/06/2013 at 10:12am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by theblackrose23 / 09/06/2013 at 8:10am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonyme / 09/06/2013 at 7:56am / France (Basse-Normandie) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 7:55am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, after 8 months of being belittled and treated like trash at my job as a prep cook in a high-end kitchen, I stood up for myself to the line cooks. Not only did everyone laugh at me, I got fired for causing a scene during service and insubordination. FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 7:45am / United States (Maine) / Work
- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…