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kurato's favorite FMLs
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 11:44am / Switzerland / Health
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Love
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy
by Gabriel A / 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I tried to email my Dad a picture of someone we knew that I'd found on the Internet. He called me later to inform me that I had actually sent him a picture of myself in a naughty school girl outfit that I'd taken for my husband. My mom was laughing her ass off. FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2011 at 3:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/02/2011 at 1:22pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Geek
by Amanda / 11/19/2010 at 12:14am / Miscellaneous
Today, I was doing photography, and decided to climb onto the roof of a building to photograph the city. I dropped a square of chocolate over the edge just to appreciate the height. Apparently somebody saw me, I was arrested and am now being charged for trespassing and firing missiles. FML
by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 11:46pm / Australia (Tasmania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 4:42am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML
by youreajoker / 11/10/2010 at 5:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, my sixteen year old son told me that he's following his guidance counselor's advice: to do what his hero does for a living. The problem? His hero is SpongeBob Squarepants. His ambition in life is to become a fry cook. FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 3:15pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids
Today, I was jogging, and I saw a little boy walking. Crying and all alone. Thinking that he was probably lost, I asked to him with my sweetest voice: 'Hi there, did you lose somebody?' He screamed terrified and ran away. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 6:14am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Kids
Today, I spent two hours making a cake that I'd promised my class for weeks. I boarded the train to school, but soon dozed off. A few minutes later, I awoke with a start and noticed a chunk of the cake missing and a homeless man next to me with frosting around his mouth. FML
by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 7:28pm / United Kingdom / Transportation
by Lisa / 11/04/2010 at 10:42am / United States (New Hampshire) / Money
- Today, I thought it would be really hot to watch porn while my girlfriend and I were having sex. I… Today, the guy I've been seeing bought me a nice bottle of wine and cooked dinner for me. Later, we… Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room.…