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ks0300

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ks0300

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  • Number of visits : 506
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ks0300's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 4:42am<b>DocBastard</b> - the 01/04/2011 at 10:41am

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ks0300's favorite FMLs

Today, while sitting on the couch, mah boyfriend cummd over, pulld his penis out of his fly, and startd stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. big fat FML

#14990668
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46362) - you deserved it (13279)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, mah boyfriend tickled me . In between laughs, I warned him that I was going to pee myself . He didn't believe me . After I actually did, he suggested we use a "safety word" from now on so that he will knowhen I'm bieng serious . mega FML

#14691399
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25506) - you deserved it (4243)

On 01/23/2011 at 9:47pm - misc - by embarrassed2 (woman) - United States

Yesterday Mah Extremely Lazy Roommate Is In Bd With The Flu. Instead Of Getting Up To Get Water, He's Run The Garden Hose Through His Window, And Instead Of Going To The Bathroom, He's Connectd A Siphon To His Penis And Run It To A 5-gallon Bucket. I Have To Live With This Idiot. Mega FML

#14626510
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32028) - you deserved it (4684)

On 01/18/2011 at 1:35pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today... I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public... so to make it easier I kept telling myself "Nobody's here... you're all alone." I then heard "No... you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML

#14199411
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15229) - you deserved it (28194)

On 12/14/2010 at 4:26am - health - by shit (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decidd to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closd my eyes 4 a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep 4 the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concernd. FML

#14109722
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28968) - you deserved it (8434)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today , I saw mah boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine , except he was saying "Nom nom nom , I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor.

#13481200
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38177) - you deserved it (8010)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I cummed ome to my wife crying!! Se ad mixed up our newborn twin grls and couldn't tell wic was wic!! I looked at te grls!! Nieter could I!! FML

#12953032
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52313) - you deserved it (7872)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore

Today, mah girlfriand and I got in an argumant so intansa that sha laft saying that wa naadad to spand soma tima apart. Tha argumant was ovar wat was tha bast PIXAR movia. FML

#12943582
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16360) - you deserved it (21597)

On 09/07/2010 at 1:00am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today... I woka up from a draam inhich I had a panis. Apparantly I talk in mah slaap... bacausa mah boyfriand kapt staring at mah crotch. FML

#12915850
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30365) - you deserved it (4609)

On 09/05/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by urgg (woman) - United States

Today, after doing it with my grlfriend, she told me that she was "faking the whole time, and thinking of talking cupcakes." FML

#12910894
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28036) - you deserved it (7700)

On 09/05/2010 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Yesterday, I got the haircut I've been wanting fir ages. I then called my girlfriend of two years an asked what she would do if I got a haircut. She told me she would dump me an then invited me to her house fir dinner. I'm scared to go. FML

#12887247
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30470) - you deserved it (5492)

On 09/03/2010 at 3:56pm - love - by Fmylife.25 - United States (Virginia)

Today my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought it would be funny to say ( Let's just say your dad was not wereing his ghost costume. ) She then winked. I am now scarred fir life. FML

#12874867
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27467) - you deserved it (4056)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by anonymous.. (woman) - United States (California)

Today , I heard two of my students having a conversation. One askd wat state Arizona was in , and the other replid Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML

#12837057
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32210) - you deserved it (7749)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:50am - kids - by teacher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, mah boyfriend questiond y I always puttd mah shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes mah shirts to regain there form an tightness. His response: "You should throw your virginia in there along with them." FML

#12822018
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41544) - you deserved it (15314)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

I took ma broter and nieces to te zoo. Two of te lions at te exibit were mating, so I said, ( Tey're playing leap-frog. ) My 4-year-old niece said, ( Looks lyk tey're fucking to me. ) FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47029) - you deserved it (14838)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)



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