About krez :
I am an adult, although I don't always act like one.
I am a single parent and a part-time gamer.
I am a computer programmer, a scientist, and a super genius.
I am a minister and an atheist, which in retrospect is kind of funny.
I am only here for the schadenfreude, although you can message me if that is your thing.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21065) - you deserved it (25315)
On 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm - misc - by pyroman1127 - United States (Utah)
Today, I realized that even though I was an honor student throughout school, and considered the golden child who was going to go far in life, all I've accomplished a year after graduation is becoming an unemployed single mother still living with my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16501) - you deserved it (22954)
On 03/28/2011 at 7:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12619) - you deserved it (36117)
On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30424) - you deserved it (4416)
On 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm - kids - by anonymous -
Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26893) - you deserved it (5554)
On 03/08/2011 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33761) - you deserved it (3005)
On 03/07/2011 at 8:47am - kids - by fourfootnine (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30730) - you deserved it (9863)
On 03/05/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by insomnitude (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17807) - you deserved it (36505)
On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)
Today, I started my community service at the dog pound. I like animals so I thought it would be a good place to do it. As I arrived they were throwing dogs that had been euthanized into a dump truck to be taken to a landfill. That was my job for the day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35369) - you deserved it (4870)
On 02/21/2011 at 10:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was driving with my parents while explaining that young people like myself are better drivers because we have better reflexes. My explanation was suddently interrupted with the sound of me crashing the car against a parked car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4973) - you deserved it (33316)
On 02/07/2011 at 12:46pm - misc - by superdriver - Mexico (Distrito Federal)
Today, while driving I made a fake phone call with my fake boyfriend, making him sound amazing to my friends who were in the car with me. Until the red and blue flashing lights pulled up behind us. My fake boyfriend cost me $160 in real fines. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4605) - you deserved it (43035)
On 08/07/2010 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to an elementary school for volunteer work. I was asked to read to a group of kids during one of the classes. Before I started reading, a girl raised her hand and asked me if I had a boyfriend and if I was single. I asked her why and she said "My daddy wanted to know." I'm 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27006) - you deserved it (2671)
On 08/04/2010 at 10:40am - misc - by LaRae17 (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I received a phone call from my son's school. Apparently, for the past week he has been telling everyone "mummy works as a drug dealer." I'm a pharmacist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25066) - you deserved it (2244)
On 01/15/2010 at 2:56am - kids - by iKaite (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was watching Star Wars : Attack of the Clones, and Yoda was using the force to move a heavy object. While in the middle of my loungeroom, I instinctively put my hand up to use the force to help him, infront of my father and sister. My sister will never let me live it down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4765) - you deserved it (25742)
On 01/08/2010 at 2:56am - misc - by Fuzzy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my parents booked my 18th birthday party at Chuck E Cheese's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54511) - you deserved it (5345)
On 06/29/2009 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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