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krez

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krez

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2899
  • Number of comments : 271
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About krez :
I am an adult, although I don't always act like one.

I am a single parent and a part-time gamer.

I am a computer programmer, a scientist, and a super genius.

I am a minister and an atheist, which in retrospect is kind of funny.

I am only here for the schadenfreude, although you can message me if that is your thing.

krez's page activity

Visits<b>rawr_nigga</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 6:50pm<b>91hayek</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 8:42pm<b>redwolf213</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 2:55pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 5:54am<b>chaoss10</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 2:54pm<b>fenellaisacute</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 1:16pm<b>HeartYou101</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 4:32am<b>gabylikescheese</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 11:54am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 2:30am<b>mirrrrrr</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 10:46pm<b>doctor__who</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm<b>Paradoxify</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 8:14am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 8:53pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 1:18am<b>eatmyshortssss1</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 7:44pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 11:44am<b>GweedSincE84</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 3:17am<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 2:43am

krez's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of krez's badges

krez's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

#19275580
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25562) - you deserved it (12559)

On 03/14/2012 at 1:18am - love - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

#19269452
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37219) - you deserved it (2037)

On 03/13/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by Rynne S. - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at a meeting. One of the other members decided to share that their cat had passed away recently. I got an uncontrollable nervous laugh, started crying because I was laughing so hard, and left the room while everyone watched in horror. FML

#19237178
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11568) - you deserved it (19227)

On 03/08/2012 at 12:47am - work - by Honey Badger (woman) - United States

Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML

#19230527
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39128) - you deserved it (2888)

On 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, due to the powerful antibiotic I was taking for a bad infection on my knee, I had no control over my bowels and shat my pants while discussing a plumbing problem in a customers basement. FML

#19226157
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24364) - you deserved it (1800)

On 03/06/2012 at 6:53am - health - by beernuts - United States

Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML

#19126336
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24812) - you deserved it (2230)

On 02/20/2012 at 9:15pm - misc - by Carpet cleaner (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

#19102316
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26224) - you deserved it (3504)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37225) - you deserved it (4929) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32637) - you deserved it (9078)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my parents got a new dog. It attacks me every time I laugh. FML

#18714310
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27027) - you deserved it (3114)

On 01/05/2012 at 7:06am - animals - by Imgonnahaveabf - United States

Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot." Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML

#18180694
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24385) - you deserved it (3812)

On 11/06/2011 at 11:50pm - misc - by Kirby - United States (Ohio)

Today, while in the car with my mom, she gave me a lecture about how bad of a driver I am. During that process she ran a red light and hit a car. FML

#18117452
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26637) - you deserved it (2238)

On 10/31/2011 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20007) - you deserved it (33293)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML

#17967494
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26993) - you deserved it (2441)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:55pm - misc - by Lauren - United Kingdom

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28023) - you deserved it (4235)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved



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