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krez

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krez
  • Town/Country : Intarwub, NJ, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1662
  • Number of comments : 270
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About krez :
I am an adult, although I don't always act like one.

I am a single parent and a part-time gamer.

I am a computer programmer, a scientist, and a super genius.

I am a minister and an atheist, which in retrospect is kind of funny.

I am only here for the schadenfreude, although you can message me if that is your thing.

krez's last visitors

Mornaiphorn84appelflapJulianne_singsmaz95Sober1128kalikiller13SeeSeaSillyGirl4602StarterkayluhannemarieGabrielleFrance

krez's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of krez's badges

krez's favorite FMLs

Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML

#19777133
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18813) - you deserved it (1149)

On 06/12/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML

#19769177
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22244) - you deserved it (4079)

On 06/11/2012 at 3:14am - animals - by ILoveAnimals (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, while waiting for a bus, someone started smoking at the bus shelter, which is illegal in my city. I politely asked him to stop smoking, citing the city ordinance. He just cackled and said that if I'm so concerned about the state of my health, I should start by losing 90 pounds. FML

#19749863
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14431) - you deserved it (29433)

On 06/07/2012 at 1:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

#19738484
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22196) - you deserved it (2296)

On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

#19710160
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8292) - you deserved it (20513)

On 05/31/2012 at 3:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I thought I felt my baby kicking for the first time. After excitedly exclaiming this fact to the few people around me, I involuntarily let out the loudest fart. Not the baby kicking, just gas. FML

Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML

#19627538
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17519) - you deserved it (5683)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:02pm - misc - by FML (woman) - Finland

Today, my wife made my hand bleed by stabbing it with a fork. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

#19595631
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10579) - you deserved it (18957) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/08/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by Mouhahaa (man) - France

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

#19576176
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28374) - you deserved it (1554) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

#19520416
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35465) - you deserved it (2172)

On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML

#19443098
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21171) - you deserved it (3743)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - misc - by uhhh what? - United States (Washington)

Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML

#19376586
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17784) - you deserved it (3480)

On 03/30/2012 at 2:44pm - kids - by James (man) - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally zooming in and out of traffic while we were on his motorcycle. His mood turned to anger when I nervously admitted to having voided my bowels. FML

#19350917
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15302) - you deserved it (2065)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:15pm - misc - by Shantwozzlah (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that when people in my apartment complex warn their kids about strangers, they use me as the example. FML

#19348901
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18126) - you deserved it (2512)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by iamnotalawyer (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized I've been confusing scenes from The Lord of the Rings with American history. FML

#19339659
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5355) - you deserved it (15700)

On 03/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Avery - United States (California)



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