About krez :
I am an adult, although I don't always act like one.
I am a single parent and a part-time gamer.
I am a computer programmer, a scientist, and a super genius.
I am a minister and an atheist, which in retrospect is kind of funny.
I am only here for the schadenfreude, although you can message me if that is your thing.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14431) - you deserved it (2122)
On 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm - kids - by fionnathehuman - United States
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18900) - you deserved it (1448)
On 09/26/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11146) - you deserved it (19316)
On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16892) - you deserved it (3894)
On 09/24/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by disgusted - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13070) - you deserved it (1405)
On 09/06/2012 at 9:56pm - kids - by Chouse - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27055) - you deserved it (1361)
On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)
Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20480) - you deserved it (1384)
On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4194) - you deserved it (24906)
On 07/19/2012 at 7:56pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16728) - you deserved it (4581)
On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)
Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23780) - you deserved it (2627)
On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6189) - you deserved it (14950)
Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16015) - you deserved it (1738)
On 06/25/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17036) - you deserved it (860)
On 06/21/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9153) - you deserved it (17088)
Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I was offered coffee and a donut. It was going well until I took a bite of the donut and started choking on it. I coughed so hard I ended up vomiting into his garbage can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18201) - you deserved it (2308)
On 06/13/2012 at 10:50am - work - by lonelyharts86 - Canada (Ontario)
Friday 24 May 2013
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