About krez :
I am an adult, although I don't always act like one.
I am a single parent and a part-time gamer.
I am a computer programmer, a scientist, and a super genius.
I am a minister and an atheist, which in retrospect is kind of funny.
I am only here for the schadenfreude, although you can message me if that is your thing.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17538) - you deserved it (3510)
On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States
Today, my dad grounded me for two weeks for profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing, he actually accepted my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost, my grounding period would double. We played. He kicked my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5171) - you deserved it (19397)
On 11/30/2012 at 8:28pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17511) - you deserved it (3270)
On 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24482) - you deserved it (1282)
On 11/12/2012 at 12:12am - misc - by BulldogHoops - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24210) - you deserved it (1052)
On 11/08/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by Screwed - United States (Maryland)
Today, I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. My previous one stopped working, because apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to suck up our puppy's shit from the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15324) - you deserved it (1395)
On 11/08/2012 at 2:03pm - love - by 99Problemsandfml - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21985) - you deserved it (2326)
On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17173) - you deserved it (3554)
On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5121) - you deserved it (33450)
On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22265) - you deserved it (3162)
On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4144) - you deserved it (36210)
On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, at the age of 57, my dad got a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15922) - you deserved it (2687) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/17/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous - France (Bretagne)
Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18447) - you deserved it (1729)
On 10/16/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by Mike - United States
Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4595) - you deserved it (38977)
On 10/15/2012 at 6:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15432) - you deserved it (2927)
On 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm - kids - by Randolph (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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