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kpark115's FML badges
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kpark115's favorite FMLs
Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML
by TuralSucks / 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by shit_upon_literally / 03/07/2009 at 12:51am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love
by Picaresque / 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
- Today was my new bosses first day in the office. I had my girlfriend make him some brownies. When… Today, I'm sick. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't leaving for college in three days, and… Today, I decided to sink low enough to sign up for one of those 'get paid for taking a survey site'…