About knocking : & monica
& female
& twenty three
& college student
& happily taken
& laid back
& open minded
& empathetic
& shy
& honest
& sarcastic
& tattoos
& animal lover
& music lover - classic rock
& fml app user
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54593) - you deserved it (9938)
On 05/21/2009 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by screwed (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50231) - you deserved it (39079)
On 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by madzlovesgee (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50231) - you deserved it (39079)
On 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by madzlovesgee (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62852) - you deserved it (33465)
On 05/08/2009 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by stpdaziandude (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19602) - you deserved it (58632)
On 04/23/2009 at 12:20am - intimacy - by rejected (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I took one of those IQ tests on the internet. I cheated and still got a 70. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12520) - you deserved it (57852)
On 04/13/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by snathans (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59364) - you deserved it (15521)
On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83770) - you deserved it (4503)
On 04/04/2009 at 10:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (306702) - you deserved it (40897)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to the Doctors and the nurse asked if I was married, in which I responded "yes". Then she asked if I was sexually active... "no". FML
I agree, your life sucks (65408) - you deserved it (8894)
On 02/23/2009 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by starbird (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28193) - you deserved it (6414)
On 02/11/2009 at 9:45am - misc - by Chicketi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8812) - you deserved it (61000)
On 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by JLoistheBomb (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites. I ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10095) - you deserved it (51128)
On 01/07/2009 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Lou Czar - United States (Oregon)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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