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knocking

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knocking

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 September 1987 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1584
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About knocking : & monica
& female
& twenty three
& college student
& happily taken
& laid back
& open minded
& empathetic
& shy
& honest
& sarcastic
& tattoos
& animal lover
& music lover - classic rock
& fml app user

knocking's page activity

Visits<b>CaptainDouche</b> - the 07/03/2011 at 7:26pm<b>Bobissmall</b> - the 07/02/2011 at 6:35am<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 06/23/2011 at 9:28am

knocking's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

knocking's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet an online date. I couldn't spot him, so he eventually came up and introduced himself. It seems his on-line picture must have been taken before I was born. I spluttered "This isn't going to work," and promptly scuttled out. FML

#13812395
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25482) - you deserved it (10185)

On 11/12/2010 at 6:06am - love - by sayno (woman) - Switzerland

Today, I met my boyfriend's whole family. Between them they had about 10 teeth. FML

#13770099
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32217) - you deserved it (4561)

On 11/08/2010 at 9:25pm - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

#13661699
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62980) - you deserved it (8994)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for halloween. He said "Single". FML

#13610925
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43619) - you deserved it (4615)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at a family dinner, my new husband compared deciding to marry me to buying a used car. Some of the similarites included looking under the hood and finding out how many previous owners there were. FML

#12655569
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28022) - you deserved it (6951)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by carwife - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML

#12408550
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40747) - you deserved it (13283)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Mikey832 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I found out what's worse than having the "sex talk" with your parents: having the "sex talk" with your boyfriend, when he's 23, right before you were supposed to have sex. FML

#11977645
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32645) - you deserved it (4937)

On 07/19/2010 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Bellagirl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

#10628803
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34164) - you deserved it (2955)

On 05/19/2010 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by GrossedOutKary (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

#10624819
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50100) - you deserved it (6749)

On 05/19/2010 at 8:12am - intimacy - by during - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

#9519577
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11088) - you deserved it (61243)

On 03/31/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by darthmilfious - Sent from mobile version

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48883) - you deserved it (9604)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)

Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML

#8793926
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29324) - you deserved it (3425)

On 03/03/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by victoriassecret - United States

Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a beer belly. And it makes your already tiny willy look even tinier." All her accusations are true. FML

#8509840
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20909) - you deserved it (6634)

On 02/21/2010 at 6:52am - intimacy - by foutu - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML

#8439216
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20046) - you deserved it (4258)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:27am - intimacy - by kit_kat14 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



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