knocking

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knocking

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 September 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3003
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About knocking : & monica
& female
& twenty three
& college student
& happily taken
& laid back
& open minded
& empathetic
& shy
& honest
& sarcastic
& tattoos
& animal lover
& music lover - classic rock
& fml app user

knocking's page activity

Visits<b>pitypisces</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 1:50pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 3:26pm<b>CaptainDouche</b> - the 07/03/2011 at 7:26pm<b>Bobissmall</b> - the 07/02/2011 at 6:35am<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 06/23/2011 at 9:28am

knocking's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

knocking's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet an online date. I couldn't spot him, so he eventually came up and introduced himself. It seems his on-line picture must have been taken before I was born. I spluttered "This isn't going to work," and promptly scuttled out. FML

by sayno / 11/12/2010 at 6:06am / Switzerland / Love

Today, I met my boyfriend's whole family. Between them they had about 10 teeth. FML

by unknown / 11/08/2010 at 9:25pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

by Tai / 10/31/2010 at 9:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for halloween. He said "Single". FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2010 at 2:01am / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, at a family dinner, my new husband compared deciding to marry me to buying a used car. Some of the similarites included looking under the hood and finding out how many previous owners there were. FML

by carwife / 08/21/2010 at 12:13am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML

by Mikey832 / 08/09/2010 at 9:24am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, I found out what's worse than having the "sex talk" with your parents: having the "sex talk" with your boyfriend, when he's 23, right before you were supposed to have sex. FML

by Bellagirl / 07/19/2010 at 3:10am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my room-mate came out of the bathroom, tossed a Playboy on the coffee table, threw away a used condom, dug his hand into my bag of Doritos, and washed his hands. In that order. FML

by Doritos / 06/17/2010 at 4:06am / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

by GrossedOutKary / 05/19/2010 at 3:20pm / Puerto Rico / Intimacy

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

by during / 05/19/2010 at 8:12am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

by darthmilfious / 03/31/2010 at 3:56am / Intimacy

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

by pumpkinlover89 / 03/27/2010 at 4:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML

by victoriassecret / 03/03/2010 at 4:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a beer belly. And it makes your already tiny willy look even tinier." All her accusations are true. FML

by foutu / 02/21/2010 at 6:52am / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML

by kit_kat14 / 02/19/2010 at 9:27am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy