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knocking

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knocking
  • Town/Country : Pennsylvania, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 September 1987 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 1248
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About knocking : & monica
& female
& twenty three
& college student
& happily taken
& laid back
& open minded
& empathetic
& shy
& honest
& sarcastic
& tattoos
& animal lover
& music lover - classic rock
& fml app user

knocking's last visitors

CaptainDoucheBobissmallCaptainPickles72

knocking's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

knocking's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16512) - you deserved it (80487)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while watching Animal Planet, I realised my boyfriend uses the Dog Whisperer techniques on me. FML

#15149183
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25332) - you deserved it (8006)

On 02/28/2011 at 5:55am - love - by notagoodsign (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That's how he found out that I wax my nipples. FML

#15063215
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23276) - you deserved it (25594)

On 02/21/2011 at 8:07am - intimacy - by weezer - United States

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

#14954867
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13601) - you deserved it (54985)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67068) - you deserved it (6316)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML

#14509671
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18603) - you deserved it (1848)

On 01/08/2011 at 3:35pm - work - by niiiiiiiiiikki - United States (Kansas)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

#14475422
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46724) - you deserved it (8129)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

#14475422
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46724) - you deserved it (8129)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about our new year's resolutions. I started telling him that I wanted to lose some weight. He interrupted me, saying, "Yeah yeah, we all know you're fat, whatever." He then went on a 30 minute speech about how he'd really like to take more pictures of his cat in 2011. FML

#14463244
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24599) - you deserved it (5453)

On 01/04/2011 at 2:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I had a job interview. The interviewer asked me to give 5 adjectives describing myself. I listed 7. The last one being "listener." FML

#14456122
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5175) - you deserved it (28176)

On 01/03/2011 at 10:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my beautiful engagement ring is a remake of the late Princess Diana's engagement ring. I also found out my fiancé bought it from an infomercial, for $19.95. FML

#14447328
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29428) - you deserved it (6586)

On 01/03/2011 at 1:52am - love - by puggles (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent the first day of the new year helping out at an old folks home. I was assigned to watch over a group which includes the delightful Earnie; an 83 year old delusional man who sees absolutely no problem with showing off "what the good lord gave him" every chance he gets. FML

#14427516
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23966) - you deserved it (3309)

On 01/01/2011 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (California)

Today, my mom duly informed me I'm the reason people have middle fingers. FML

#14413679
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20373) - you deserved it (4435)

On 12/31/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by edulover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

#14377824
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37093) - you deserved it (3758)

On 12/29/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband yawned in the middle of our wedding vows. FML

#14356876
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30156) - you deserved it (6238)

On 12/27/2010 at 12:52pm - love - by ohmy. - United States (Illinois)



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