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knocking

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knocking

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 September 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1662
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About knocking : & monica
& female
& twenty three
& college student
& happily taken
& laid back
& open minded
& empathetic
& shy
& honest
& sarcastic
& tattoos
& animal lover
& music lover - classic rock
& fml app user

knocking's page activity

Visits<b>CaptainDouche</b> - the 07/03/2011 at 7:26pm<b>Bobissmall</b> - the 07/02/2011 at 6:35am<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 06/23/2011 at 9:28am

knocking's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

knocking's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML

#16076748
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41160) - you deserved it (6829)

On 05/07/2011 at 9:56am - love - by wtfiswrongwithher - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32615) - you deserved it (6836)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML

#15858919
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44386) - you deserved it (10287)

On 04/20/2011 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213
780 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66769) - you deserved it (14047)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML

#15591776
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46164) - you deserved it (6028)

On 04/01/2011 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by guest - United States

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69934) - you deserved it (9644)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

Today, as I walked home, I heard the people behind me in an argument over my gender. FML

#15451762
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39806) - you deserved it (9796)

On 03/23/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by Cxisbest (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34682) - you deserved it (48654)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML

#15401896
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34820) - you deserved it (4337)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm - animals - by mugged (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at my wedding, my brother decided it would be funny to trip me as I was walking down the aisle, in front of hundreds of people. FML

#15395122
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53777) - you deserved it (4128)

On 03/20/2011 at 3:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

#15321178
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54095) - you deserved it (5163)

On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

#15321178
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54095) - you deserved it (5163)

On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China

Today, my friend convinced me that a staple gun doesn't work on skin. I decided to put this new piece of information to the test. FML

#15239631
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8034) - you deserved it (89781)

On 03/08/2011 at 10:50am - misc - by ouch (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17605) - you deserved it (83105)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)



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