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knocking

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knocking

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 September 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1734
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About knocking : & monica
& female
& twenty three
& college student
& happily taken
& laid back
& open minded
& empathetic
& shy
& honest
& sarcastic
& tattoos
& animal lover
& music lover - classic rock
& fml app user

knocking's page activity

Visits<b>CaptainDouche</b> - the 07/03/2011 at 7:26pm<b>Bobissmall</b> - the 07/02/2011 at 6:35am<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 06/23/2011 at 9:28am

knocking's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

knocking's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML

#17004643
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39806) - you deserved it (10819)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sprained my knee while going down on one knee to propose to my girlfriend. She laughed as I rolled in pain. I still haven't gotten an answer. FML

#16858982
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39690) - you deserved it (4286)

On 06/26/2011 at 12:29am - love - by smoothmove - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

#16830910
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35434) - you deserved it (9755)

On 06/24/2011 at 6:45am - intimacy - by Eve (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my marriage counselor got divorced. FML

#16725425
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40000) - you deserved it (4461)

On 06/18/2011 at 4:51am - love - by screwed - United States

Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML

#16650975
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9963) - you deserved it (49894)

On 06/13/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

#16596385
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20794) - you deserved it (47667)

On 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm - love - by gabxoxo03 - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML

#16525505
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38321) - you deserved it (6102)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:44am - intimacy - by ... - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

#16378001
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39368) - you deserved it (17278)

On 05/27/2011 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by valerie - United States (Texas)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML

#16354230
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38294) - you deserved it (22082)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:55am - intimacy - by Motionless (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

#16271302
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39788) - you deserved it (4116)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

#16234467
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65152) - you deserved it (4472)

On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20289) - you deserved it (60903)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20289) - you deserved it (60903)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, as I was filling out divorce paperwork, I realized that my son has had the same girlfriend through both of my marriages. He's 17. FML

#16141236
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19129) - you deserved it (51786)

On 05/12/2011 at 7:09am - love - by Username -

Today, I laughed at a joke and it literally took me a minute to realize that it was me they were making fun of. FML

#16114779
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21407) - you deserved it (19909)

On 05/10/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by Nick (man) - Philippines (Quezon City)



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