knocking

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knocking

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 September 1987 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2397
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About knocking : & monica
& female
& twenty three
& college student
& happily taken
& laid back
& open minded
& empathetic
& shy
& honest
& sarcastic
& tattoos
& animal lover
& music lover - classic rock
& fml app user

knocking's page activity

Visits<b>pitypisces</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 1:50pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 3:26pm<b>CaptainDouche</b> - the 07/03/2011 at 7:26pm<b>Bobissmall</b> - the 07/02/2011 at 6:35am<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 06/23/2011 at 9:28am

knocking's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

knocking's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 7:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I sprained my knee while going down on one knee to propose to my girlfriend. She laughed as I rolled in pain. I still haven't gotten an answer. FML

by smoothmove / 06/26/2011 at 12:29am / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

by Eve / 06/24/2011 at 6:45am / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy

Today, my marriage counselor got divorced. FML

by screwed / 06/18/2011 at 4:51am / United States / Love

Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2011 at 9:08pm / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

by gabxoxo03 / 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML

by ... / 06/06/2011 at 3:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

by valerie / 05/27/2011 at 9:04pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML

by Motionless / 05/26/2011 at 5:55am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

by Jackedup / 05/18/2011 at 3:57am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

by phoenix101 / 05/16/2011 at 1:40am / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

by phoenix101 / 05/16/2011 at 1:40am / Intimacy

Today, as I was filling out divorce paperwork, I realized that my son has had the same girlfriend through both of my marriages. He's 17. FML

by Username / 05/12/2011 at 7:09am / Love

Today, I laughed at a joke and it literally took me a minute to realize that it was me they were making fun of. FML

by Nick / 05/10/2011 at 3:37am / Philippines (Quezon City) / Miscellaneous