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knocking

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knocking
  • Town/Country : Pennsylvania, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 September 1987 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 1259
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About knocking : & monica
& female
& twenty three
& college student
& happily taken
& laid back
& open minded
& empathetic
& shy
& honest
& sarcastic
& tattoos
& animal lover
& music lover - classic rock
& fml app user

knocking's last visitors

CaptainDoucheBobissmallCaptainPickles72

knocking's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

knocking's favorite FMLs

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

#17304355
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8170) - you deserved it (53882)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML

#17302566
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23346) - you deserved it (12862)

On 07/29/2011 at 10:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29710) - you deserved it (3314)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

#17298408
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26852) - you deserved it (4577)

On 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm - misc - by someone - United States

Today, my wife threw a piece of tofu cake at my head for suggesting that the money she'd spent on magic "healing" crystals and homeopathic "remedies" would've just as well been spent on a chocolate teapot. FML

#17293531
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21258) - you deserved it (6110)

On 07/29/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by notabeliever - United States (California)

Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML

#17292941
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26792) - you deserved it (4848)

On 07/29/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I gave my dad a brochure for anger management. His response? Throwing a chair out the window. FML

#17285530
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32321) - you deserved it (6588)

On 07/28/2011 at 11:25am - health - by 99520 - United States (Indiana)

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

#17283152
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28108) - you deserved it (14936)

On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom still hasn't gotten over the novelty of our brand new microwave. We've been eating hot pockets for nearly a week now. FML

#17281268
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22424) - you deserved it (2890)

On 07/27/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by ladytyy - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saved a honey bee from drowning in our pool. It promptly stung me and died. FML

#17267677
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24323) - you deserved it (13631)

On 07/26/2011 at 1:07pm - misc - by frankkathy - United States (Texas)

Today, after a year of suspicion, I finally found out my sister is in a cult. My family's response? "It will be good for her." FML

#17247420
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25740) - you deserved it (2175)

On 07/24/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by allycat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML

#17227396
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33576) - you deserved it (7209)

On 07/23/2011 at 6:29am - misc - by tgd4444 (man) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30719) - you deserved it (6744)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I learned that when you piss on a hornets' nest from a window, the hornets will go after the source of the stream. It can also cause you to fall through your friend's second story window. FML

#17176803
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7493) - you deserved it (50718)

On 07/19/2011 at 12:41pm - misc - by freakfreak12345 - United States (Maine)

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

#17044811
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34956) - you deserved it (4836)

On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)



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