knights95

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knights95

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 November 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2883
  • Number of comments : 138
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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knights95's page activity

Visits<b>evanvoss</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 12:14pm<b>jaker4p17</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 3:01pm<b>lungjiao</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 2:30pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 4:32pm<b>joonsson</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 5:38am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 4:20pm<b>UPTDraco</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 3:42pm<b>californian21</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 1:48pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 3:40pm<b>reapper9000</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 4:04pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 4:35pm<b>cascaval</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 3:03pm<b>vampivy23</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 8:03pm<b>Jakk100</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:33am<b>LHOTP</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 7:03pm<b>meisan</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 3:37am<b>trinalporpus</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 11:42am<b>kunjac0945</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 4:40pm

Fucked!<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 3:29pm

knights95's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of knights95's badges

knights95's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2011 at 8:21pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I couldn't shut a drawer in my kitchen, because an oven mitt was blocking it. An oven mitt filled with tin-foil wrapped electronics. My Mom believes Internet hackers can get into her digital camera and prepaid cell phone, and apparently tin-foil will prevent that. FML

by BelleCharmante / 07/14/2011 at 12:50am / United States (North Carolina) / Geek

Today, I'm staying with my mother for a week. Every time I eat something, she tells me that it's "swimsuit season" and that I need to eat less. Every time I say I'm not hungry, she panics and insists I have an eating disorder. I can't win. FML

by argh / 07/13/2011 at 7:49pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

by wittlegirl / 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I noticed a woman struggling to work a parking meter, so I went over to help. She took one look at me before screaming, hitting me in the face, and running back to her car. FML

by Username / 07/08/2011 at 4:02pm / United States / Health

Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML

by Username / 07/08/2011 at 9:24am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

by Yoda / 07/08/2011 at 1:23am / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, after not receiving my paycheck for over a month, I confronted my boss about it. His response? "You still work here?" FML

by outofajob / 07/08/2011 at 1:10am / United States / Work

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

by shit / 07/07/2011 at 3:43am / United States / Kids

Today, I had to make a deal with my 22 year old fiancé. What was the deal? If he put deodorant on, he could squeeze my boob for as long as he liked. FML

by NYMTS / 07/01/2011 at 7:22pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, the driver's side window of my car was busted, and inside was a note that said, "Sorry, thought this was my car." FML

by Rick / 07/01/2011 at 4:31am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I woke up to the news that my mom's in jail. FML

by mymomsstupid / 06/29/2011 at 10:51am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML

by Qwerty / 06/28/2011 at 12:10pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML

by kaplwv116 / 06/26/2011 at 9:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Health