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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24425) - you deserved it (1516)
On 12/30/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by planes - United States (Oregon)
Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25584) - you deserved it (1967)
On 12/24/2009 at 1:09am - love - by Nemesis2747 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I have to train people overseas to do my job. If I succeed in teaching them what they need to know, then they get my job and I get fired. If they don't perform well, then as the trainer I get blamed, and get fired. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26306) - you deserved it (1226)
On 12/15/2009 at 3:30am - work - by ritualdevice - Sent from mobile version
Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34255) - you deserved it (15051)
On 12/09/2009 at 8:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39609) - you deserved it (2545)
On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I realized that I am dating a 25 year old man-child. He turns 13 whenever he sees my boobs, complete with big eyes and saying "honk honk" whenever he touches them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26900) - you deserved it (7681)
On 11/28/2009 at 11:17am - love - by moon_paw (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8924) - you deserved it (25326)
On 11/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by inpain (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7913) - you deserved it (57437)
On 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out that 15 years ago my father threw out my college acceptance letters so that I could stay home and take over the family's funeral home business. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70608) - you deserved it (1755)
On 08/13/2009 at 7:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. After a few minutes of conversing, he told me he didn't need to give me a ticket. He then asked for a date. I politely declined. After staring at me for a very long moment, he said "I think I'm going to have to give you that ticket after all." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37043) - you deserved it (18787)
On 08/03/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by WearingOff (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41099) - you deserved it (7014)
On 08/02/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by dam01 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32286) - you deserved it (5950)
On 07/21/2009 at 2:53pm - misc - by NotSoClean (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17593) - you deserved it (50054)
On 07/10/2009 at 7:18pm - love - by failhusband (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45747) - you deserved it (24552)
On 07/06/2009 at 1:55am - misc - by expen_dable (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54675) - you deserved it (2522)
On 06/04/2009 at 8:07am - work - by Mew (man) - United States (California)
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