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knifenkill

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knifenkill

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  • Number of visits : 552
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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knifenkill's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:56pm

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knifenkill's favorite FMLs

Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML

#7027797
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31169) - you deserved it (2177)

On 12/30/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by planes - United States (Oregon)

Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML

#7027797
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31169) - you deserved it (2177)

On 12/30/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by planes - United States (Oregon)

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

#6914931
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33390) - you deserved it (2772)

On 12/24/2009 at 1:09am - love - by Nemesis2747 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I have to train people overseas to do my job. If I succeed in teaching them what they need to know, then they get my job and I get fired. If they don't perform well, then as the trainer I get blamed, and get fired. FML

#6761187
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33849) - you deserved it (1849)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:30am - work - by ritualdevice - Sent from mobile version

Today, I have to train people overseas to do my job. If I succeed in teaching them what they need to know, then they get my job and I get fired. If they don't perform well, then as the trainer I get blamed, and get fired. FML

#6761187
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33849) - you deserved it (1849)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:30am - work - by ritualdevice - Sent from mobile version

Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML

#6677904
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43991) - you deserved it (21071)

On 12/09/2009 at 8:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML

#6677904
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43991) - you deserved it (21071)

On 12/09/2009 at 8:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

#6563359
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48713) - you deserved it (3501)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized that I am dating a 25 year old man-child. He turns 13 whenever he sees my boobs, complete with big eyes and saying "honk honk" whenever he touches them. FML

#6493322
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33857) - you deserved it (9714)

On 11/28/2009 at 11:17am - love - by moon_paw (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I realized that I am dating a 25 year old man-child. He turns 13 whenever he sees my boobs, complete with big eyes and saying "honk honk" whenever he touches them. FML

#6493322
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33857) - you deserved it (9714)

On 11/28/2009 at 11:17am - love - by moon_paw (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML

#6378966
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12241) - you deserved it (35665)

On 11/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by inpain (man) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML

#6378966
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12241) - you deserved it (35665)

On 11/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by inpain (man) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML

#6378966
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12241) - you deserved it (35665)

On 11/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by inpain (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

#6040097
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10825) - you deserved it (79661)

On 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that 15 years ago my father threw out my college acceptance letters so that I could stay home and take over the family's funeral home business. FML

#4508324
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86016) - you deserved it (2879)

On 08/13/2009 at 7:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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