Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About klutzilla1275 : name's tess, I'm a no shit kinda girl full of wonder and sarcasim!
i love art especially sketching!, music, science, reading, track and field, camping, parties parties PARTIES and friends. I'll try anything once and I'm not afraid to take chances. :)
i hate the stupid twilight movie along with it's even stupider fan girls.
i am pretty much addicted to this site, it makes my day, everyday. except when it doesn't accept my kick ass FMLs :@
that's 'bout it :] shoot me a message if ya want, or don't who cares? lol
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was hanging out with a guy I likd. We sat in the gardens, me facing the path, him with his back to it. We were in deep conversation when I noticd a dog that lookd exactly like mine. Then I lookd up and saw a man that lookd like mah dad. Yes - mah parents followd me on a date. big fat FML
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stond and passd out in our dog's bd. My dad was drunk, yelling ( who's yur daddy ) at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, ( what the hell happend to my life ) look on her face. FML
Today, I tried to help a large, elderly nun who had slipped!! She was stuck and wedged in on a concrete ramp!! So I stood facing her, feet braced against hers, and pulled!! Not only did I drop her, but I got a wicked view of her panties and crotch!! I'm sure I'm going to hell!! FML
Today, I decidd to ceck out ma scool's quarterback's Twitter, since we ave a class togeter . He wrote, ( Dear grl in front of me, I tougt you were pretty until you turnd around . ) It was funny, until I realizd te timestamp was wen we ave class togeter, and I sit in front of im . FML
Today, mah boyfriend an I were fooling around in his carhen things got hot an heavy an we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to putted our cloths back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, an he had been there the entre time. FML
Today, I Was Walking With Mah Very Attractive Friendho I Like A Lot . She Then Told Me That Her Roomate Wouldn't Be Home Tonight, And If I Wantd, I Could Come Over And Study History . I Didn't Get It . I Told Her No Thanks, That I Was Coverd, And It Was Chem I Needd To Study . An Hour Later, I Understood . FML
2day My Daughter Usd The Kids Potty Chair On Her Own For The First Time. Bad: The Bucket Was Not In It So Poo Hit The Floor. Good: She Trid To Clean It... Bad: With Her Socks. Good: She Decidd To Clean The Socks. Bad: She Usd The Wall. Good: She Finally Calld Dad. FML
2day I woke up to mah 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walkd into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
Today, I realized I forgot to write a 5000 word essay fir ma Englis class!! I tried to be calm since I ad until midnigt to finis, and it was only 8pm!! I typed fir tree ours straigt,and finised te assignment!! I read over te instruction again, and realized it only ad to be 500 words!! FML
Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said ( I can feel yur heartbeat on my dick. ) FML
yesterday my mum groundd me 4 going to my boyfriend's house instead of the library. She said my boyfriend's mum phond up cuz she could hear us having it off in his room. When I denid it my mum shoutd at me 4 bieng a liar as well as looool a slut. I did go to the library. FML
Today, I Was Taking A Shower. I Heard Mah Boyfriend Come Into The Bathroom, Brush His Teeth An Take Off His Clothes. He Joined Me In The Shower An Instead Of Doing Something Loving Or Sexy, He Let Out A Huge Fart Into His Hand An Threw It Into Mah Face. FML
Friday 27 March 2015