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About klutzilla1275 : name's tess, I'm a no shit kinda girl full of wonder and sarcasim!
i love art especially sketching!, music, science, reading, track and field, camping, parties parties PARTIES and friends. I'll try anything once and I'm not afraid to take chances. :)
i hate the stupid twilight movie along with it's even stupider fan girls.
i am pretty much addicted to this site, it makes my day, everyday. except when it doesn't accept my kick ass FMLs :@
that's 'bout it :] shoot me a message if ya want, or don't who cares? lol
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I discoverd tat wen business is slow at my family-ownd store, my daugter and anoter employee make a abit of sneaking away to te back room. I ave literally been paying tis kid to screw around wit my daugter. FML
Today, I found out thathilst I was asleep last night, mah boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out thathenever he unlockd a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes an putting it in mah mouth. FML
TODAY, I WAS IN AN ELEVATOR, AN THE HOT GIRLHO LIVES IN MAH BUILDING ANHO I HAVE A CRUSH ON GOT IN. SHE WAS IN AHEELCHAIR WITH A BROKEN LEG, I PANICKED AN TRIED TO FLIRT WITH HER, AN I SAID 'NICE CHAIR.' SHE REPLIED 'NICE BRUISE' AN PUNCHED ME IN THE NUTS. FML
Today, mah crush went on webcam on MSN!! He looked really adorable, so I took about 6 screen shots an copied them into paint!! I accidentally took a screenshot of mah screen with all the pictures on paint an copied it into the conversation!! FML
Today, I started work as the head engineer 4 a big civil engineering project. I met the rest of mah team, in particular the envronmental engineer who I'll need to get along with the most. As it turns out, I took her vrginity when we were freshmen in college. She still thinks I'm an asshole. FML
Today, at work I was ringing up some tampons 4 a woman, and I try to interact with the shoppers as much as possible!! I was trying to think of something witty or funny to say but drew a blank, so I decided just to say "have a nice night." What I actually said was "have a nice flow"!! fat FML
TODAY, A MAN I DON'T KNOW CUMMED UP TO ME AN STARTED SCREAMING ABOUT HOW "ALL U DAMN MEXICANS WERE STEALING AMERICAN'S JOBS" AN HE STORMED OFF. I'M NATIVE AMERICAN, AN I'M PRETTY SURE WE'VE BEEN HERE LONGER. FML
TODAY, WHILE IN THE SHOWER WITH MY GIRLFRIEND SHE WAS GOING ON AND ON ABOUT HOW SHE THINKS SHE'S FAT WHEN SHE'S IN PERFECT SHAPE. WITH WHAT SHE SAID STILL ON MY MIND, I MEANT TO SAY "HONEY, YOUR SO BEAUTIFUL", BUT ACCIDENTALLY SAID "HONEY, YOUR SO FAT". I'LL BE SLEEPING ALONE TONIGHT. REAL FML
yesterday I decided to treat yeast infection over the counter to avoid going to the doctor. Too bad I didn't read the directions. Now I have to go to the doctor to get the tip of the applicator removed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went fir a swim in his pool . I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that cummed to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs . FML
Friday 27 March 2015