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klisterable

Offline (the 04/08/2015 at 1:20pm) | Search for a member

klisterable

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 March 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 414
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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klisterable's page activity

Visits<b>jaybird2</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 12:33am<b>feven</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 6:54am<b>Welshite</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 2:16pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 10:03am<b>uvuvucv</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 8:42pm

klisterable's FML badges

Perfectionist

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Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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klisterable's favorite FMLs

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

#21337828
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23590) - you deserved it (15116)

On 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

#21336619
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32712) - you deserved it (5252)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I returned a rental car and almost got charged extra for the "funky and rotten" smell in the car. I blamed it on a sausage roll, not having the heart to tell the woman it was my fart from a minute before. FML

#21335609
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24710) - you deserved it (6733)

On 01/12/2015 at 4:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I finally got a restraining order against my violent ex. My mom now keeps finding ways to tell me how shitty I am for breaking the "poor boy's" heart and how I didn't deserve him anyway. FML

#21331330
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34646) - you deserved it (2555)

On 01/05/2015 at 1:52pm - misc - by help (woman) - Malta

Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML

#21329484
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29425) - you deserved it (2093)

On 01/02/2015 at 5:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room in crippling pain, thanks to a very dangerous cluster of cysts on my ovaries that could rupture at any time. My boyfriend took this news as my way of denying him sex and broke up with me for "going to obscene lengths" to emasculate him. FML

#21325566
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34449) - you deserved it (2807)

On 12/27/2014 at 10:50pm - love - by Twysted91 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the kid who who lives next door and shares a bedroom wall with me got a drum set for Christmas. FML

#21323929
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31159) - you deserved it (2359)

On 12/25/2014 at 11:36am - kids - by BowTiesAr3Cool - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

#21323893
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33436) - you deserved it (3472)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Today, I was fired for "smelling like garbage". I'm the guy who throws the garbage into the truck. FML

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35174) - you deserved it (6745)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, I had to end a first date with the words, "You can get out of my car and go upstairs yourself, or I can come around and drag you out, bring you up the stairs, and knock on your door," because he'd gotten completely plastered in a span of about three hours. And yes, I had to drag him. FML

Today, I spent 20 minutes arguing with the class dipshit, trying to convince her that wifi hot-spots are not in fact saunas powered by wifi. FML

#21302021
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29585) - you deserved it (3602)

On 11/19/2014 at 10:09am - misc - by Donutsarelife - United States

Today, I get to add spaghetti sauce to my rather extensive list of things that don't belong in a person's eye but that end up in mine anyway. Other items include molten cheese, rock salt, orange juice, chips of nail polish, cotton fibers, and firework ash. FML

#21299049
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27921) - you deserved it (4590)

On 11/14/2014 at 4:58pm - health - by gspotter (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49302) - you deserved it (3481)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States



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