klisterable

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Offline (the 07/25/2016 at 9:06am)

klisterable

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 March 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1289
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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klisterable's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 5:40am<b>jaybird2</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 12:33am<b>feven</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 6:54am<b>Welshite</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 2:16pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 10:03am<b>uvuvucv</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 8:42pm

klisterable's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of klisterable's badges

klisterable's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at school deleting documents I no longer needed on my school account. After clicking empty trash can, I saw a final paper on political science deleted. I'm not in political science, and I wasn't deleting files on my account. FML

by Jennifer / 01/20/2016 at 2:20pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I did such a bad job explaining the recent change from daylight savings time, that my 5-year-old son is now convinced that we're time travellers. FML

by badmom / 11/06/2015 at 12:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, after years of difficulty, I finally found the perfect shade of foundation that matches my ultra-pale complexion. It's called "Death Flesh." FML

by 2pale / 11/01/2015 at 1:22pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while looking through my son's browser history, I found a Google search for "stop looking in my history u nosey cunt". I swore last week that I don't invade his privacy, so I can't even punish him for the bad language without looking like a lying bastard. FML

by Hank-T4 / 10/11/2015 at 7:45am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, while walking home after a night of partying, I saw a thin, bald person in a suit looking at me from across the street. I got flashbacks to the Slender Man, screamed like a little bitch and ran. Then I realized I'd just humiliated myself in front of some random guy waiting for a bus. FML

by shitbucketsfilledwithshit / 10/08/2015 at 12:04pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML

by horp / 09/29/2015 at 6:00pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm / United States (Delaware) / Animals

Today, I returned a rental car and almost got charged extra for the "funky and rotten" smell in the car. I blamed it on a sausage roll, not having the heart to tell the woman it was my fart from a minute before. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2015 at 4:46am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Transportation

Today, I finally got a restraining order against my violent ex. My mom now keeps finding ways to tell me how shitty I am for breaking the "poor boy's" heart and how I didn't deserve him anyway. FML

by help / 01/05/2015 at 1:52pm / Malta / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2015 at 5:46pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room in crippling pain, thanks to a very dangerous cluster of cysts on my ovaries that could rupture at any time. My boyfriend took this news as my way of denying him sex and broke up with me for "going to obscene lengths" to emasculate him. FML

by Twysted91 / 12/27/2014 at 10:50pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, the kid who who lives next door and shares a bedroom wall with me got a drum set for Christmas. FML

by BowTiesAr3Cool / 12/25/2014 at 11:36am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

by whovian / 12/25/2014 at 10:17am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy