Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kjz102

Search for a member

kjz102
  • Town/Country : Buffalo, New York , united states, united states
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 September 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 281
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About kjz102 : I'm Kayla and I'm awesome! Talk to me if you wanna get to know me!!!

kjz102's last visitors

grogers311xocellaxoImFrackinBored

kjz102's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of kjz102's badges

kjz102's favorite FMLs

Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML

#18259551
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11105) - you deserved it (21379)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML

#18049596
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27533) - you deserved it (6460)

On 10/22/2011 at 10:06pm - kids - by me - United States (Maine)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38404) - you deserved it (3847)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

#17880531
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26541) - you deserved it (3169)

On 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm - misc - by FirstStringQB - United States (California)

Today, I went into a public bathroom and walked in on a guy checking his butt out in the mirror to see if he'd wiped properly. FML

#17541030
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25590) - you deserved it (1769)

On 08/21/2011 at 8:03pm - misc - by Bobby ray slice - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my brother told the family that if you pull on the dog's back foot then she always obeys. I later found my mom tugging on the dog's foot whispering "jump off a cliff" repeatedly. FML

#17531478
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21525) - you deserved it (1499)

On 08/20/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by lala7 - United States

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

#17502057
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32603) - you deserved it (2028)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML

#17497586
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22124) - you deserved it (10493)

On 08/17/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by aprilfools22 - United States (California)

Today, while driving into work, a guy cut me off and I yelled some nasty things out of my window at him. He heard me, followed me to work, took a baseball bat out and then chased me into the office. He also smashed my windshield on his way out. FML

#17489225
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26053) - you deserved it (14128)

On 08/16/2011 at 10:22am - misc - by erineilis - United States (New York)

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

#17488478
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6726) - you deserved it (63459)

On 08/16/2011 at 6:17am - animals - by NaniNarcotic - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

#17457057
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37442) - you deserved it (4053)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:37am - love - by bTOhno - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29650) - you deserved it (4067)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML

#17423512
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26905) - you deserved it (3167)

On 08/09/2011 at 11:00pm - animals - by Nekro_Kat - United States (California)

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

#17421184
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35028) - you deserved it (7815)

On 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm - animals - by Zoe Avila - United States

Today, I was walking along a crowded pier when I stopped to read a sign next to an oddly placed bush. Not even two seconds later, a man popped out of the bush and made me wet myself. People were filming it. FML

#17399752
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18767) - you deserved it (3355)

On 08/07/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Polmkk (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: