About kjz102 : I'm Kayla and I'm awesome! Talk to me if you wanna get to know me!!!
kjz102's FML badges
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
kjz102's favorite FMLs
Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML
by anonymous / 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML
by me / 10/22/2011 at 10:06pm / United States (Maine) / Kids
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids
by FirstStringQB / 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Bobby ray slice / 08/21/2011 at 8:03pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by lala7 / 08/20/2011 at 7:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by candymansvan17 / 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML
by aprilfools22 / 08/17/2011 at 4:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while driving into work, a guy cut me off and I yelled some nasty things out of my window at him. He heard me, followed me to work, took a baseball bat out and then chased me into the office. He also smashed my windshield on his way out. FML
by erineilis / 08/16/2011 at 10:22am / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML
by NaniNarcotic / 08/16/2011 at 6:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
by bTOhno / 08/13/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
by TuteSweet / 08/12/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Nekro_Kat / 08/09/2011 at 11:00pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML
by Zoe Avila / 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm / United States / Animals
Today, I was walking along a crowded pier when I stopped to read a sign next to an oddly placed bush. Not even two seconds later, a man popped out of the bush and made me wet myself. People were filming it. FML
by Polmkk / 08/07/2011 at 7:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I… Today, after my husband's phone buzzed like crazy all morning, I decided to pick it up and see what… Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to…