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Today, a man tried to rob the winery I worked at by knife-point. I managed to scare him off by throwing a bottle of wine at him. My boss fired me because I broke a $25 bottle of wine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31708) - you deserved it (1741)
On 12/04/2011 at 12:19am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22180) - you deserved it (3649)
On 12/02/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paper clip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18534) - you deserved it (3730)
On 12/01/2011 at 9:38am - work - by ohno - United States (Florida)
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28750) - you deserved it (4076)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, a guy lost control of his umbrella in the wind, which then hit me in the eye, making me bleed. He screamed at me for trying to steal his umbrella. People laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26553) - you deserved it (1347)
On 11/29/2011 at 6:59pm - misc - by anon - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8101) - you deserved it (52505)
On 11/29/2011 at 12:21pm - misc - by seanjohn268 (man) - Canada
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22752) - you deserved it (6679)
Today, I was called an 'inconsiderate scum bucket' by my neighbour because I allowed my loud alarm to go on too long before silencing it. The only reason that I sleep through my alarm is because I have to wear earplugs as they have their TV on maximum volume until 4am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22569) - you deserved it (1547)
On 11/28/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Exhausted - Iran Islamic Republic of
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19215) - you deserved it (2873)
On 11/26/2011 at 9:33pm - misc - by Matthew - United States (Texas)
Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17972) - you deserved it (2647)
Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22780) - you deserved it (2663)
On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, my dad got drunk and thought it would be a great idea to clean up the yard by dumping gasoline all over the leaves and lighting our entire front yard on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22015) - you deserved it (1565)
On 11/24/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by JWhite - United States (California)
Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20584) - you deserved it (1815)
On 11/23/2011 at 5:53pm - work - by anon -
Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36890) - you deserved it (1940)
On 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by cheated - United States (New Jersey)
Today, after changing his mind 3 times, my long distance fiancé told me he wasn't coming to see me for Thanksgiving. Out of anger, I threw his clothes, car magazines, and whatever else I could find in a huge, messy pile. During this, he walked into the room. He was going to surprise me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9071) - you deserved it (30033)
On 11/22/2011 at 8:53pm - love - by Anon - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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