kjd

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Offline (the 11/25/2016 at 7:53pm)

kjd

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 January 2002 (14 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11373
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kjd's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 6:57pm<b>Shae22fml</b> - the 10/30/2009 at 11:40pm<b>foreverabearfan</b> - the 09/16/2009 at 11:10pm<b>maximum31337</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 1:41pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/02/2009 at 12:28pm<b>POORLiLSTELA</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 7:04pm

kjd's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of kjd's badges

kjd's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked out of the store, car keys in hand, only to discover my car was missing. After a frantic search, I started to hyperventilate and a nearly had a full-blown panic attack. Then I remembered I walked to the store. I am an idiot. FML

by picklemonger / 12/08/2011 at 2:58pm / Canada / Transportation

Today, I went out in a storm to collect my wheelie bin, which had flown down the street. On the way back to my house, I realised my door had slammed shut and locked behind me. That's okay though, a trampoline decided to smash my window and let me in. FML

by mattdevil / 12/08/2011 at 1:57pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML

by sparklethelette / 12/06/2011 at 8:38pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML

by sparklethelette / 12/06/2011 at 8:38pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML

by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward / 12/06/2011 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a 10 dollar bill on the street, as I went to grab it, it was pulled away by a string. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was tricked by teenagers or that I tripped and fell as I went for it. FML

by aceshot97 / 12/06/2011 at 9:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, a 65 year old toothless gas station attendant asked me out on a date in exchange for free gas, and I said yes. This is what my unemployment has come to. FML

by BrokeandDesperate / 12/06/2011 at 2:03am / United States (New York) / Money

Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, a man tried to rob the winery I worked at by knife-point. I managed to scare him off by throwing a bottle of wine at him. My boss fired me because I broke a $25 bottle of wine. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 12:19am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML

by Anonymous / 12/02/2011 at 9:02pm / United Kingdom / Health

Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paper clip. FML

by ohno / 12/01/2011 at 9:38am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

by immy504 / 11/30/2011 at 12:39am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, a guy lost control of his umbrella in the wind, which then hit me in the eye, making me bleed. He screamed at me for trying to steal his umbrella. People laughed. FML

by anon / 11/29/2011 at 6:59pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML

by seanjohn268 / 11/29/2011 at 12:21pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

by Dani / 11/28/2011 at 7:34am / Reserved / Miscellaneous