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kjd
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 January 2002 (12 years)
  • Number of visits : 6764
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kjd's favorite FMLs

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

#18490582
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8441) - you deserved it (39189)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that my father died a little over a year ago. I don't know what's worse; the fact that I don't care or the fact that in his will all he wanted was me not to attend his funeral. FML

#18489810
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26244) - you deserved it (4826)

On 12/11/2011 at 10:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my wife and I had a huge fight. I was getting ready to go to sleep on the couch when she came downstairs and grabbed a very large metal spoon. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#18489765
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19243) - you deserved it (3442)

On 12/11/2011 at 10:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML

#18488568
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27928) - you deserved it (3720)

On 12/11/2011 at 8:37pm - love - by wow (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, and gave his little speech, over the phone. He did all this while his ass was firmly planted in a chair in the next room. FML

#18487719
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21003) - you deserved it (1986)

On 12/11/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while my boyfriend was sneaking out before my parents woke, he slipped on some ice and fell on their car. The alarm went off. FML

#18482470
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13520) - you deserved it (22962)

On 12/11/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I rode the public bus. When I got off, I put my hood up only to discover that the old man who sat behind me had used my hood as a trashcan for his gum and used Kleenex. I can't get the gum out of my hair. FML

#18482161
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28946) - you deserved it (2133)

On 12/11/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was with my boyfriend and we were talking about childhood memories. He told me about a girl he made fun of in middle school. That was me. FML

#18479280
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34465) - you deserved it (3303)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML

#18479274
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23798) - you deserved it (3613)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - work - by Poorman (man) - United Kingdom

Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML

#18479274
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23798) - you deserved it (3613)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - work - by Poorman (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for a familiar reason; I apparently have night terrors that make me "Impossible to sleep in the same room with." I don't ever remember these dreams. Every other girlfriend I've had has ended up breaking things off with me for the same reason. FML

#18471857
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31098) - you deserved it (3703)

On 12/09/2011 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML

#18467127
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25371) - you deserved it (2062)

On 12/09/2011 at 7:23am - misc - by pinkleopleurodon - United States

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8734) - you deserved it (67999)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8734) - you deserved it (67999)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7345) - you deserved it (68934)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)



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