Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kjd

Search for a member

kjd
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 January 2002 (12 years)
  • Number of visits : 6767
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

kjd's last visitors

FreezePOORLiLSTELA

kjd's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of kjd's badges

kjd's favorite FMLs

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34130) - you deserved it (4592) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

Today, I received a ticket for not having my headlights on. The cop who pulled me over had a broken headlight. FML

#18715182
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23794) - you deserved it (3955)

On 01/05/2012 at 10:56am - money - by FML - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents got a new dog. It attacks me every time I laugh. FML

#18714310
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25788) - you deserved it (2998)

On 01/05/2012 at 7:06am - animals - by Imgonnahaveabf - United States

Today, my biology teacher assigned us partners for a project. I got paired up with one of the smartest kids in the class. When he found out I was his partner, he cried. FML

#18710808
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26977) - you deserved it (7700)

On 01/04/2012 at 10:07pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home to find that my mother had sold all my valuable collector coins for cheap at a local shady pawn shop to buy herself a TV. The coins in question were worth enough to start a business. FML

#18706154
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38362) - you deserved it (2408)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:30pm - money - by Ilostsomuch (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent 4 hours cleaning my apartment. 2 minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML

#18669836
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24630) - you deserved it (2857)

On 01/01/2012 at 12:41am - love - by upsetandannoyed - United States (New York)

Today, while shopping at Wal-Mart, a guy grabbed my butt. When I turned around to slap him, he shook his head, said "Nice ass but such an ugly face", then walked away. I've never been told I'm ugly before. FML

#18667019
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27309) - you deserved it (6920)

On 12/31/2011 at 7:51pm - misc - by thathurt (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my favorite fish died. To make things better my parents thought to take me out to dinner. We ate sushi. FML

#18661224
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24500) - you deserved it (5713)

On 12/31/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I have to choose between getting a cellphone contract that I need, or a TV that I don't even want, but which my flatmates insist I contribute towards. The same flatmates who eat all my food. This increased grocery bill has left me unable to afford either the phone or TV. FML

#18650592
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21391) - you deserved it (5500)

On 12/30/2011 at 2:10am - money - by WTF - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my family. The night consisted of my sisters hiding in a tent and chasing us around in it, my parents singing songs from 'The Lion King' opera-style and throwing cheese at him. Pretty sure he's freaked out. FML

#18650275
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23952) - you deserved it (3545)

On 12/30/2011 at 1:35am - love - by wellthatsawkward (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

#18648133
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8390) - you deserved it (34596)

On 12/29/2011 at 10:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - China

Today, I discovered that I have to share a room with my new stepbrother. I also discovered that he takes the same number of showers over the course of two weeks as I do in a single day: one. FML

#18640460
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23640) - you deserved it (1748)

On 12/29/2011 at 12:53am - health - by garfield749 (man) - United States

Today, I went with my friend door-to-door selling chocolates. We went to the first house, and the guy decided to buy a chocolate from each of us. He didn't have change and neither did we, so he just took the chocolates and slammed the door in our face. FML

#18548047
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19893) - you deserved it (5940)

On 12/18/2011 at 8:52pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend proposed. I fainted due to the excitement. He took it as a "no" and won't pick up my calls. FML

#18547222
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28370) - you deserved it (2952)

On 12/18/2011 at 7:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML

#18542050
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44750) - you deserved it (1985)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:44am - work - by Sedici - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: