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kjd
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 January 2002 (11 years)
  • Number of visits : 5504
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kjd's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41070) - you deserved it (36315)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I wolf whistled at a girl. I soon realized this wasn't the best idea I've had, as not only did she give me a look of complete and utter disgust, she also sent a very big man running in my direction. FML

Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML

#18738638
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23544) - you deserved it (2015)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:33pm - health - by tictacnose - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my therapist told me, "I'm sorry, but I'm not qualified to handle your level of instability." FML

#18725353
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29062) - you deserved it (3174)

On 01/06/2012 at 11:16am - health - by Ixi_the_pixie - United States

Today, I was boarding a plane and an elderly woman asked if I could put her carry on into the overhead bin. Eager to help, I energetically lifted her bag up, and smacked her in the face with it. FML

#18722642
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22452) - you deserved it (4044)

On 01/06/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by plantfood - United States

Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML

#18721494
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26182) - you deserved it (2346)

On 01/05/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31527) - you deserved it (3750) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

Today, I received a ticket for not having my headlights on. The cop who pulled me over had a broken headlight. FML

#18715182
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21438) - you deserved it (3709)

On 01/05/2012 at 10:56am - money - by FML - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents got a new dog. It attacks me every time I laugh. FML

#18714310
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22349) - you deserved it (2734)

On 01/05/2012 at 7:06am - animals - by Imgonnahaveabf - United States

Today, my biology teacher assigned us partners for a project. I got paired up with one of the smartest kids in the class. When he found out I was his partner, he cried. FML

#18710808
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22766) - you deserved it (5869)

On 01/04/2012 at 10:07pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home to find that my mother had sold all my valuable collector coins for cheap at a local shady pawn shop to buy herself a TV. The coins in question were worth enough to start a business. FML

#18706154
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34540) - you deserved it (1903)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:30pm - money - by Ilostsomuch (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent 4 hours cleaning my apartment. 2 minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML

#18669836
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23153) - you deserved it (2755)

On 01/01/2012 at 12:41am - love - by upsetandannoyed - United States (New York)

Today, while shopping at Wal-Mart, a guy grabbed my butt. When I turned around to slap him, he shook his head, said "Nice ass but such an ugly face", then walked away. I've never been told I'm ugly before. FML

#18667019
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25896) - you deserved it (5819)

On 12/31/2011 at 7:51pm - misc - by thathurt (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my favorite fish died. To make things better my parents thought to take me out to dinner. We ate sushi. FML

#18661224
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20715) - you deserved it (4512)

On 12/31/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I have to choose between getting a cellphone contract that I need, or a TV that I don't even want, but which my flatmates insist I contribute towards. The same flatmates who eat all my food. This increased grocery bill has left me unable to afford either the phone or TV. FML

#18650592
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18267) - you deserved it (4351)

On 12/30/2011 at 2:10am - money - by WTF - United States (Florida)



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