kjd

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Offline (the 01/29/2016 at 11:05pm)

kjd

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 January 2002 (14 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10324
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kjd's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 6:57pm<b>Shae22fml</b> - the 10/30/2009 at 11:40pm<b>foreverabearfan</b> - the 09/16/2009 at 11:10pm<b>maximum31337</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 1:41pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/02/2009 at 12:28pm<b>POORLiLSTELA</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 7:04pm

kjd's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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kjd's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

by ThatOneGirl646 / 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML

by hannaaaahr / 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML

by lions214 / 01/10/2012 at 8:40pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I have to go on a diet, because I can't afford to buy bigger clothes. FML

by Voltron / 01/10/2012 at 7:37pm / United States / Money

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm / India / Kids

Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML

by eakthegeek / 01/10/2012 at 4:36am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

by fuckparents / 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

by LaLa / 01/09/2012 at 12:01am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, at our wedding reception my new father-in-law gave his speech, saying his little girl was too good for me. Everyone, including my parents, agreed. FML

by shades / 01/08/2012 at 10:43pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

by omgwhyme / 01/08/2012 at 9:36am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML

by tictacnose / 01/07/2012 at 7:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my therapist told me, "I'm sorry, but I'm not qualified to handle your level of instability." FML

by Ixi_the_pixie / 01/06/2012 at 11:16am / United States / Health

Today, I was boarding a plane and an elderly woman asked if I could put her carry on into the overhead bin. Eager to help, I energetically lifted her bag up, and smacked her in the face with it. FML

by plantfood / 01/06/2012 at 12:47am / United States / Transportation

Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2012 at 11:06pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

by Fat_abott / 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm / France / Animals