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kjd

Offline (the 10/19/2014 at 10:27pm) | Search for a member

kjd

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 January 2002 (12 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7789
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kjd's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 6:57pm<b>Shae22fml</b> - the 10/30/2009 at 11:40pm<b>foreverabearfan</b> - the 09/16/2009 at 11:10pm<b>maximum31337</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 1:41pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/02/2009 at 12:28pm<b>POORLiLSTELA</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 7:04pm

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kjd's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

#18778372
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14223) - you deserved it (43892)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm - misc - by ThatOneGirl646 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML

Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML

#18769573
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25099) - you deserved it (2398)

On 01/10/2012 at 8:40pm - work - by lions214 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I have to go on a diet, because I can't afford to buy bigger clothes. FML

#18768991
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11230) - you deserved it (33465)

On 01/10/2012 at 7:37pm - money - by Voltron - United States

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43002) - you deserved it (4399)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML

#18764509
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26499) - you deserved it (6233)

On 01/10/2012 at 4:36am - intimacy - by eakthegeek - United States

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

#18758727
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65239) - you deserved it (3137)

On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

#18752825
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31112) - you deserved it (7045)

On 01/09/2012 at 12:01am - intimacy - by LaLa - United States (Louisiana)

Today, at our wedding reception my new father-in-law gave his speech, saying his little girl was too good for me. Everyone, including my parents, agreed. FML

#18751726
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28443) - you deserved it (2997)

On 01/08/2012 at 10:43pm - love - by shades (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49217) - you deserved it (46270)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML

#18738638
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29137) - you deserved it (2763)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:33pm - health - by tictacnose - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my therapist told me, "I'm sorry, but I'm not qualified to handle your level of instability." FML

#18725353
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35178) - you deserved it (4249)

On 01/06/2012 at 11:16am - health - by Ixi_the_pixie - United States

Today, I was boarding a plane and an elderly woman asked if I could put her carry on into the overhead bin. Eager to help, I energetically lifted her bag up, and smacked her in the face with it. FML

#18722642
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27799) - you deserved it (5582)

On 01/06/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by plantfood - United States

Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML

#18721494
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32260) - you deserved it (3215)

On 01/05/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37275) - you deserved it (4932) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France



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