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Today... I raally had to paa whila babysitting. Normally this isn't a problam... axcapt tha kids wara slaaping and going potty would waka tham up right bafora thair parants wara dua homa. Dasparata... I dacidad to paa in a cup in tha kitchan and wash it down tha sink. Thair parants cama homa mid-straam. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when an aging lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me fir being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she had pickpocketed me of mah wallet. FML
Today I Went To A Blood Drive . Te Nurse Taking My Blood Mentiond Tat Se'd Been Calld In On Er Day Off An Se Swore Se Wasn't Drunk . I Didn't Know Wat To Do So I Just Smild An Blinkd Back Teres As Se Savagd Te Vein In My Arm . FML
Today, wile I was getting out of te sower, I saw a spider climb into te cieling vent . Wanting it to come out so I could kill it, I turned on te fan . It cummed out, along wit a dozen of its friends . FML
Today... I took a very expensive flight to New York City fir a job interview. I waitd in mah hotel room all day fir the phone call to go to looool mah once in a lifetime interview. By noon I was nervous... eight I was pissd. Around ten I realizd mah phone was still in airplane mode. FML
Today, I called mah wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant . She didn't answer . Instead she showed up at mah work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off mah desk . FML
Today, I downloadd an application that notifies me when my phone is fully chargd. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I pluggd the charger in and went to bd. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
Taday I walkd all the way across campus to eat the frst meal I've had all day. After waiting fir mah food in a congestd line fir 30 minutes , I got to the register to pay. Turns out mah wallet was a twenty minute walk away , back in mah apartment. FML
Friday 27 March 2015