kjd

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Offline (the 01/29/2016 at 11:05pm)

kjd

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 January 2002 (14 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10161
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kjd's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 6:57pm<b>Shae22fml</b> - the 10/30/2009 at 11:40pm<b>foreverabearfan</b> - the 09/16/2009 at 11:10pm<b>maximum31337</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 1:41pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/02/2009 at 12:28pm<b>POORLiLSTELA</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 7:04pm

kjd's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

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kjd's favorite FMLs

Today, I really had to pee while babysitting. Normally this isn't a problem, except the kids were sleeping and going potty would wake them up right before their parents were due home. Desperate, I decided to pee in a cup in the kitchen and wash it down the sink. Their parents came home mid-stream. FML

by fired / 05/13/2012 at 2:26am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm / United States / Money

Today, I was walking down the street, when an aging lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she had pickpocketed me of my wallet. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, a therapist told me that I was too depressed to attend his depression group meetings. FML

by Sad Sally / 04/24/2012 at 7:22am / United States / Health

Today, I went to a blood drive. The nurse taking my blood mentioned that she'd been called in on her day off, and she swore she wasn't drunk. I didn't know what to do, so I just smiled and blinked back tears as she savaged the vein in my arm. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2012 at 12:24pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML

by keyless / 04/14/2012 at 11:20am / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was getting out of the shower, I saw a spider climb into the ceiling vent. Wanting it to come out so I could kill it, I turned on the fan. It came out, along with a dozen of its friends. FML

by dcort / 04/08/2012 at 12:39pm / United States (New York) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took a very expensive flight to New York City for a job interview. I waited in my hotel room all day for the phone call to go to my once in a lifetime interview. By noon I was nervous, eight I was pissed. Around ten I realized my phone was still in airplane mode. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2012 at 8:35am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

by Tristan Brantley / 03/11/2012 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Work

Today, while driving, I slowed down and made sure I safely went by a pedestrian, and in the process rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

by me / 02/21/2012 at 6:56pm / United States / Transportation

Today, my car key clicker wouldn't let me in. After a few frustrating minutes, I realized that, besides electronic capabilities, it's also an actual key that fits in a hole to unlock my door. FML

by Anonymous / 02/20/2012 at 1:05am / United States / Transportation

Today, a little girl I give horse-riding lessons to told me she had saved up $8.00 for her own pony. I laughed and thought how cute she was, then realized that was more than I have in my own savings account. FML

by IHateBeingAStudent / 02/12/2012 at 4:43am / Money

Today, I walked all the way across campus to eat the first meal I've had all day. After waiting for my food in a congested line for 30 minutes, I got to the register to pay. Turns out my wallet was a twenty minute walk away, back in my apartment. FML

by ulring / 02/11/2012 at 7:53pm / United States / Money