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kjd
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 January 2002 (12 years)
  • Number of visits : 6789
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kjd's favorite FMLs

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15587) - you deserved it (28088)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I thought I'd be helpful and pick up my Dad's car from the repairs shop for him while he was at work. So, on my own, I hopped in my car and I drove the 15 minutes out to the shop. Only upon arriving did I consider the situation I'd put myself in. FML

Today, at my job in the cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like you. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML

#17999888
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28628) - you deserved it (5648) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/16/2011 at 5:08pm - work - by Mayabie - France

Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML

#17986846
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33776) - you deserved it (2863)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Ania (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29154) - you deserved it (5024) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29154) - you deserved it (5024) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

#17975450
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29110) - you deserved it (3626)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Eet- (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, it's my birthday. I asked everyone for iTunes money, pleased to finally be able to buy some new songs for my iPod. After receiving several gift cards, I discovered that my iPod had been stolen. FML

#17970324
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25002) - you deserved it (3614)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:47pm - money - by ipodless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30644) - you deserved it (22434)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

#17911621
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20464) - you deserved it (15234)

On 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Beeisc00l - Reserved

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

#17911621
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20464) - you deserved it (15234)

On 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Beeisc00l - Reserved

Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML

#17894609
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24719) - you deserved it (4981)

On 10/03/2011 at 8:37am - misc - by Mike Polk - United States

Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML

#17893570
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30466) - you deserved it (2670)

On 10/03/2011 at 2:08am - misc - by TheAnnoyedNeighbor - United States (New York)

Today, on my way to work I swerved to avoid hitting a dead animal. Too bad I ended up hitting a live one instead. FML

#17885184
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22666) - you deserved it (7205)

On 10/02/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

#17874410
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23515) - you deserved it (5802)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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