kjd

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Offline (the 11/25/2016 at 7:53pm)

kjd

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 January 2002 (14 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11389
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kjd's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 6:57pm<b>Shae22fml</b> - the 10/30/2009 at 11:40pm<b>foreverabearfan</b> - the 09/16/2009 at 11:10pm<b>maximum31337</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 1:41pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/02/2009 at 12:28pm<b>POORLiLSTELA</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 7:04pm

kjd's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of kjd's badges

kjd's favorite FMLs

Today, I was called an 'inconsiderate scum bucket' by my neighbour because I allowed my loud alarm to go on too long before silencing it. The only reason that I sleep through my alarm is because I have to wear earplugs as they have their TV on maximum volume until 4am. FML

by Exhausted / 11/28/2011 at 1:07am / Iran Islamic Republic of / Miscellaneous

Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML

by Matthew / 11/26/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML

by taternuts / 11/26/2011 at 7:18am / Canada / Work

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 5:35am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, my dad got drunk and thought it would be a great idea to clean up the yard by dumping gasoline all over the leaves and lighting our entire front yard on fire. FML

by JWhite / 11/24/2011 at 3:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML

by anon / 11/23/2011 at 5:53pm / Work

Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML

by cheated / 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, after changing his mind 3 times, my long distance fiancé told me he wasn't coming to see me for Thanksgiving. Out of anger, I threw his clothes, car magazines, and whatever else I could find in a huge, messy pile. During this, he walked into the room. He was going to surprise me. FML

by Anon / 11/22/2011 at 8:53pm / United States / Love

Today, I lost my job for taking an unauthorized vacation. I just got married and requested time off for the wedding and honeymoon months ago; it was approved then. They forgot, and then got angry because I didn't remind them. I did remind them, the day before I left. FML

by lostwife / 11/22/2011 at 11:20am / United States / Holidays

Today, I found out that my new roommate got kicked out of his old house because he pulled a gun on his old roommates and threatened them. The reason? They nagged him about dishes he left in the sink. Well, only 10 months left on the lease. FML

by Charles Pennington / 11/22/2011 at 6:36am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML

by brokeandalone / 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I was caught stealing a video game. I realized after my parents were called that the case was actually empty. FML

by Emil / 11/20/2011 at 4:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a letter of complaint from my landlord. It said my loud, obnoxious trampling is disturbing my downstairs neighbor, and I have to stop. I'm small and hardly weigh anything, but it seems that if I want to keep my lease, I'll have to master the art of levitating. FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2011 at 3:49pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a fine for leaving my car at the airport. Each day it's been there, they added an additional $50. My car was stolen two weeks ago. FML

Today, my elderly neighbor used his snowblower to send all of the fallen leaves in his yard into mine, which I'd raked earlier that morning. FML

by leaf hater / 11/17/2011 at 7:43am / United States / Miscellaneous