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kjd
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 January 2002 (12 years)
  • Number of visits : 6784
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kjd's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26971) - you deserved it (8370)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, I was called an 'inconsiderate scum bucket' by my neighbour because I allowed my loud alarm to go on too long before silencing it. The only reason that I sleep through my alarm is because I have to wear earplugs as they have their TV on maximum volume until 4am. FML

#18372418
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25593) - you deserved it (1996)

On 11/28/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Exhausted - Iran Islamic Republic of

Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML

#18360363
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23468) - you deserved it (3850)

On 11/26/2011 at 9:33pm - misc - by Matthew - United States (Texas)

Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML

#18354788
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21107) - you deserved it (2949)

On 11/26/2011 at 7:18am - work - by taternuts - Canada

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

#18334722
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25329) - you deserved it (3407)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my dad got drunk and thought it would be a great idea to clean up the yard by dumping gasoline all over the leaves and lighting our entire front yard on fire. FML

#18334271
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22626) - you deserved it (1596)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by JWhite - United States (California)

Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML

#18329214
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24862) - you deserved it (2394)

On 11/23/2011 at 5:53pm - work - by anon -

Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML

#18326234
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37633) - you deserved it (1960)

On 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by cheated - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after changing his mind 3 times, my long distance fiancé told me he wasn't coming to see me for Thanksgiving. Out of anger, I threw his clothes, car magazines, and whatever else I could find in a huge, messy pile. During this, he walked into the room. He was going to surprise me. FML

#18320806
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10778) - you deserved it (40309)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:53pm - love - by Anon - United States

Today, I lost my job for taking an unauthorized vacation. I just got married and requested time off for the wedding and honeymoon months ago; it was approved then. They forgot, and then got angry because I didn't remind them. I did remind them, the day before I left. FML

#18316081
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34067) - you deserved it (2061)

On 11/22/2011 at 11:20am - work - by lostwife - United States

Today, I found out that my new roommate got kicked out of his old house because he pulled a gun on his old roommates and threatened them. The reason? They nagged him about dishes he left in the sink. Well, only 10 months left on the lease. FML

#18314926
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23313) - you deserved it (2567)

On 11/22/2011 at 6:36am - misc - by Charles Pennington (man) - United States

Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML

#18302011
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40420) - you deserved it (3086)

On 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm - kids - by brokeandalone (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was caught stealing a video game. I realized after my parents were called that the case was actually empty. FML

#18299655
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5624) - you deserved it (73117)

On 11/20/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by Emil - United States

Today, I got a letter of complaint from my landlord. It said my loud, obnoxious trampling is disturbing my downstairs neighbor, and I have to stop. I'm small and hardly weigh anything, but it seems that if I want to keep my lease, I'll have to master the art of levitating. FML

#18281989
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23054) - you deserved it (2530)

On 11/18/2011 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I received a fine for leaving my car at the airport. Each day it's been there, they added an additional $50. My car was stolen two weeks ago. FML

#18281505
87 comments


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