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Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Beginner
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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1559) - you deserved it (8434)
On 05/17/2012 at 2:57pm - misc - by Bilze - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was trying to convince my husband to not trim the lower branches of my favorite tree. After pleading my case, I turned around and ran smack into one of said branches. My face and my dignity still hurt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1858) - you deserved it (4082)
On 05/17/2012 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)
Today, I'm on a trip to Poland with some friends. We came to experience the country's culture, and to challenge our preconceptions about this part of Europe. We had sat on a bench, and not ten seconds later, a stranger approached and asked, "How much for your friend?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (5648) - you deserved it (635) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/15/2012 at 11:59am - misc - by LearnToLive -
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10334) - you deserved it (1099) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, after applying for a promotion to a position which I've been working my ass off for two years to get, my managers thought it would be appropriate to discuss other applicants in front of me, even asking me to compare my resume with theirs to see the "caliber" of what I'm up against. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5182) - you deserved it (420)
Today, I really had to pee while babysitting. Normally this isn't a problem, except the kids were sleeping and going potty would wake them up right before their parents were due home. Desperate, I decided to pee in a cup in the kitchen and wash it down the sink. Their parents came home mid-stream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1868) - you deserved it (10290)
On 05/13/2012 at 2:26am - work - by fired - United States (Oregon)
Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5482) - you deserved it (1620)
On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was walking down the street, when an aging lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she had pickpocketed me of my wallet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7948) - you deserved it (516)
On 04/27/2012 at 9:55pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, a therapist told me that I was too depressed to attend his depression group meetings. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8011) - you deserved it (684)
On 04/24/2012 at 7:22am - health - by Sad Sally (woman) - United States
Today, I went to a blood drive. The nurse taking my blood randomly mentioned that she'd been called in on her day off, and she swore she wasn't drunk. I didn't know what to do, so I just smiled and blinked back tears as she savaged the vein in my arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14597) - you deserved it (1684)
On 04/14/2012 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7825) - you deserved it (518)
On 04/14/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by keyless (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)
Today, while I was getting out of the shower, I saw a spider climb into the ceiling vent. Wanting it to come out so I could kill it, I turned on the fan. It came out, along with a dozen of its friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8136) - you deserved it (1800)
On 04/08/2012 at 12:39pm - animals - by dcort - United States (New York)
Today, I took a very expensive flight to New York City for a job interview. I waited in my hotel room all day for the phone call to go to my once in a lifetime interview. By noon I was nervous, eight I was pissed. Around ten I realized my phone was still in airplane mode. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7382) - you deserved it (5037)
On 03/31/2012 at 8:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6865) - you deserved it (786)
On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20819) - you deserved it (6389)
On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)
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