Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kitzukitten715

Search for a member

kitzukitten715

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 519
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

kitzukitten715's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

kitzukitten715's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14609) - you deserved it (54658)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML

#8980623
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30972) - you deserved it (4956)

On 03/10/2010 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by cmore - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a soldier in my unit had unknowingly lost a GPS in the woods and my section was sent to go find it. After hours of wading through chest high swamps in 32 degree weather, the GPS was found, thanks to the soldier who lost it. It was in his vest. FML

#8852783
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26324) - you deserved it (1866)

On 03/05/2010 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to sell my only means of transportation, my 92 Chrysler Lebaron to a junking company because the transmission blew. When the guy finally got there, I had to shovel out the 5 feet of snow around my car, help him push it, and help him hook it up. Then his dog bit me. I only got $100. FML

#8791575
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21015) - you deserved it (2294)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:06am - animals - by MetalAtlas (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was making out like a sixteen year old at the high school prom with this guy I kinda liked. All of a sudden, he rolls away and tells me he's "finished." We both had our clothes on the entire time. He is 23, I'm 25. I didn't know that was possible. FML

#8769205
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18749) - you deserved it (3236)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:38am - intimacy - by virginmary - Reserved

Today, I found out that there's nothing like having to chase a 100-something lb. Bloodhound around the neighborhood when you're 8 months pregnant, with a 3 and 4 year old in tow. Especially when she runs the other way at the sight of you coming. FML

#8769098
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25351) - you deserved it (3743)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:17am - kids - by Dogs loose - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend decided that lunch with his guys was more important than spending time with me. This is the second year in a row that he has cancelled on me. How do I remember the date so well? It's my birthday. FML

#8767349
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31009) - you deserved it (4813)

On 03/02/2010 at 3:14am - love - by BirthdayGirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend decided that lunch with his guys was more important than spending time with me. This is the second year in a row that he has cancelled on me. How do I remember the date so well? It's my birthday. FML

#8767349
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31009) - you deserved it (4813)

On 03/02/2010 at 3:14am - love - by BirthdayGirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after a particularly gruesome nightmare about spiders due to my irrational phobia, I decided to try and desensitise myself by googling 'house spiders'. I can't stop the feeling of something crawling over every inch of my body, but at least I now know they can live up to six years. FML

#8700237
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17740) - you deserved it (6381)

On 02/27/2010 at 9:03pm - health - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, while waiting to do a presentation in class I felt someone flick my back, but when I turned around no one was there. It wasn't until I got up in front of the whole class that I felt my bra slowly sliding down my body. Turns out that the "flick" I felt was actually my bra clasp busting open. FML

#8632694
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24967) - you deserved it (2843)

On 02/25/2010 at 2:05am - misc - by thewordsicantsay (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 2 year old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

#8608911
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7934) - you deserved it (59529)

On 02/24/2010 at 2:45am - kids - by janesays (woman) - United States

Today, I had a seizure at work. My boss walked by and saw me, but didn't help or do anything because he thought I was "picking something up off the floor." FML

#8607847
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30380) - you deserved it (1702)

On 02/24/2010 at 1:29am - work - by argh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, before my date came to pick me up, I put tissues under my arms so I wouldn't leave wet marks. I forgot to remove them, and when we got physical, they fell out, looking like I'd stuffed my bra. FML

#8606978
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10870) - you deserved it (29513)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:54am - intimacy - by kiki (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, before my date came to pick me up, I put tissues under my arms so I wouldn't leave wet marks. I forgot to remove them, and when we got physical, they fell out, looking like I'd stuffed my bra. FML

#8606978
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10870) - you deserved it (29513)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:54am - intimacy - by kiki (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML

#8606853
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29847) - you deserved it (1774)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by ks0300 - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: