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This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my friend told me that he was having a scrabble tournament at his house with a bunch of our friends. I told my dad about the tournament and he gave me a special scrabble dictionary to bring. Hesitantly, I brought the dictionary and as I walked in everyone was playing beer pong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27716) - you deserved it (8450)
On 06/17/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this swedish girl I met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41268) - you deserved it (15820)
On 06/17/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by Dirtyswede (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a feild sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test infront of all the students and parents. I blew. 06%. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17531) - you deserved it (70577)
On 04/07/2009 at 4:44pm - health - by schoolgrlstaci (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend dropped me off for a class and I accidentally closed my exceptionally baggy pants in the passenger door. She didn't notice and started to drive away. I spent the next fifteen seconds being dragged across rough pavement with my pants around my ankles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44915) - you deserved it (23898)
On 03/28/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by enriquegay (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (141743) - you deserved it (53044)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML
I agree, your life sucks (60297) - you deserved it (17694)
On 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by peacock_mina19 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. When she asked me to pick up her thong from behind my bed I realized there were two. I didn't pick up hers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8475) - you deserved it (99270)
On 02/09/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by Dulieu (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, a guy sitting next to me in class asked me for a pen. I accidentally handed him a tampon instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16999) - you deserved it (5059)
On 01/29/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by iFail - United States (California)
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18320) - you deserved it (1558)
On 01/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by glittercat - United States (Missouri)
Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11226) - you deserved it (50019)
On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States
Today, I got bored and decided to try World Of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9378) - you deserved it (15716)
On 01/22/2009 at 10:14am - misc - by insearch4i - United States (Arizona)
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